It all started when my bored-to-death mind began to scream for some adrenaline rush. My mind got numb to the excitement generated to my day-dreams where I, in very sinister fashion murder my boss billion times. I murdered him million times in million different ways using all weapons varied from primitive to futuristic, from stone to Neutron bombs. Well, with nothing left to think or dream of, I thought, I could well think of my office work for a while and that’s when I pondered over the difference between Productivity and Activity. I began to feel there is no point in working 20 years in a company and gaining expertise and experience purely as by-product of time . Why not exert a little of my idle grey cells on office related work after all I seldom (in fact never till date) strain my tiny brain. My office pays me to work like indentured robotic slave not think and bend mind like Beckham. Than sprang choto choti se asha. Desire to do something different crept into my mind. I wanted to invent something which company never ever saw. Now my mind began to vroom like Vettel on F-1 circuit. Before I could think of what..My mind due to its old habits went into sleep mode . Later its all ZZZZ zzzzz tat buzzed on my mental screen
Early morning when I woke up, the first thought that hit my mind was “An Idea”. A small seed like idea germinated in yesterday’s excited soil of my mind. An Idea can change your life is 100 % true. That’s what I dreamed. An Idea that was never seen or heard by anyone (meaning I never heard of it).Wow. I just felt like Neo in Matrix who bends spoons with mental power and stops slew of bullets with mere hand gesture.
It was my eureka moment when I forgot to brush my teeth, gobbled some fruits and bolted to Pyramid Meditations Hall at speed faster than Usain Bolt. Now like Buddha I sat under pyramid for an hour allowing mind to excite its grey cells without any conditions. Minute idea metamorphosed into Mammothic plan. Million view points got generated. Counter points assailed. Mind rose n fell like wave, twisted itself into knots. Finally I was able to come out with my product or scheme. But I prefer to call it as INVENTION. Nomenclature makes all difference. “Invention” is more exciting than “Scheme”,”Procedure”,”Concept”.
Now my mind began to show its uglier manifestations. I didn’t know how to test its feasibility. I definitely need help of superiors whom I never trusted. My fear is always that they might steal the idea and make it their own. I just locked the Model in deepest part of my mind. I am no person with Commerce background nor iam MBA. I have scant idea how this model behaves in real world. Silently in office hours running sample mathematical diagnostics resulted in positive results yet I was skeptic.
With days passing by before I put on slides for presentation, my initial hyper excitement began to diminish. My confidence began to fade. More I dig into deep into INVENTION, more I found it reduced to school level science project.Plain vanilla product. Small and insignificant. This is my problem always. When I created advertisements which I felt too small, later I found similar advt on international stage. Its almost like Grass is greener on other side.
My MD was visiting my branch other day. I prepared everything with little confidence. With great difficulty I took my yearly bath as well. My mantra was Start slow and reach High. Though I wanted to give it to other banks, I preferred my bank which is PSU and has Govt mentality. Though presentation was scheduled at 5pm, MD came at 8.30 pm, jet lagged from his travel. Myself and My boss as part of our unwritten protocol and surrounded him like Black Cat commandos to give him the Feel of big shot political . We followed obediently around him where ever he went in the office. But my super sharp Sherlock Holmes eyes caught his discomfort in MD eyes. Then i understood he was not inspecting our new office but he was searching for washroom and he was standing in front of door hoping we guys to understand his embarrassing position.
Later after downing free chai and biscuits our MD,GM,AGM,CM, and my own Boss sat in front of my computer with angry , quizzical faces wondering what 2 year old novice officer can teach Financial Veterans.
My boss and Chief Manager never favoured me due to my independent thinking. In Public Sectors, one should always be boot licking sycophantic slave to superior who I am totally in contrary: “Free Minded and Independent”. My boss was angry for not sharing my idea with him. AGMs were silent like Buddha. MD was supportive but not committal. What followed was marathon discussion on feasibility, economic rationality etc .
Now the result: that’s what even iam waiting. They just nodded their heads , shook my hand with great difficulty, said its good . Not a word more. Will it work? Will the product see the light of day?. Should I give it other banks. What should be my next step? State of Limbo is the current status
No answer ….
