AFFAIRS THAT I NEVER HAD

This blog was lying mentally pregnant for more than 4 years. Deferred and delayed for multiple reasons and excuses. Now I think every story has to reach its logical end. Hence this blog.

We get meet so many people in our path. Some are like lines on water, disappear immediately, and some are scars etched on rock, and they cast long shadow in crevices of mental landscape. This blog is of such two unique individuals I happen to encounter. Russia and Bongie.  Forget the names as all names in my phone are coded and this is how I saved their names. Bongie and Russia. Someone who appealed my heart and other who challenged my brains.

[PRIOR PERMISSION HAS BEEN TAKEN FOR THIS BLOG]

To start with I am incorrigible passionate lover. Iam always in love, either with a person or event or job or book or life in general. Eternally in love. Like any other human I had my share of affairs, some successful and some damp squib. But never can I say it was boring. My quench for excitement never ceased.

I had all kinds of gfs. Millionaire gf to ordinary. Femme fatale to plain jane. Nubile to cougar. Innocent to gold digger who 4 timed. Celibate to nymphomaniac. Some are too good and benevolent and some  dangerously self destructive. Friends with benefits, North Indian to South to extreme north east. Mother theresas to Mata haris . Sometimes all rolled into one. Seen all!! Kya kare , like any piscean yeh dil tho pagal hai.

Here are two lovely souls worth mentioning who caught my 100% 24/7 attention to maximum. “Russia and Bongie”.

 Lots water passed in Thames and Ganges since I met them hence recollecting finer details is difficult , hence had to adjust whatever residue remains in my heart and head and adding dollops of fiction to make blog yash chopra like dramatic.

My Intelligence: Russia: This girl is like real mirchi. Absolute femme fatale with razor sharp intellect. She can really intimidate man with her sheer grey cells…all the time with her was like iam facing Russian chess genius. It was battle of wits .

Pure un titrated adrenaline rush I used to experience. I had to think twice before I need to lie to her as chances are very less I can actually pull it off convincingly.

How I met her? No 6 degree connection or common friends . I happen to meet her in AOL. Cant say beginning was sweet. All guys wooing her n there I lack even confidence to approach this delhi based femme fatale. Finally when I spoke, I thought ..ok, maximum one week or a month , not more… look at fate. Now its 4^th  or 5^th year n end is nowhere in sight.

She has such a Royal suave impeccable polished linguistic skills N here I am rustic crude fumbling for words (Pretty girls can either make tongue freeze or I become blabbermouth). Conversations with her was so thrilling, almost like 10,000 volts electricity running through cranial nerves. Sometimes we used talk from 5pm to 5am.Dusk to dawn. Wonder what I spoke, she is such an awesome conversationalist that she can speak on almost on any topic. There wasn’t a day we haven’t communicated.

Her humour is infectious and clacking . whats so unique about her was her eye for detail…she sees simple things in general life that seemingly ignored or forgotten . like , she screams in her trademark shrill voice “praveen I saw a post man thought they never existed any more..or tv antenna of Doordarshan days..or something like that”

Its so challenging to be on par with her.  She is like , seen all-done all. Iam like…still bookish. I had to work hard to be atleast be half good as she was. She can jog 10 kms and ride cycle 30-40 kms…well I did my best to run 5km, and just buy a bicycle.(lying in dust in my home). Every day was new day with her around. She always had something new to say. The best time I had was chatting with her at 5am lake side. Very divine and ethereal! Never I knew she looked more lovely sans makeup (till dat time I thought she was just a boy in girls body)

We share same level of madness pulsating at same frequencies of insanity. Probably she is the only person who can understand my madness.

We both share a comfort level that we can talk almost anything under the sun. she has her own mood swings. She can sulk, turning her nose to cherry red in colour. She can cry, always during vampire hours (midnight) , her tears can be acerbic that can make me run in middle of nights to Bangalore..some one teases her racially in london..here i pick a londoner in india (Tit for tat..no one messses with my pple) . she can be funny, at her hilarious best. Her voice has its own charm that can make any guy heart go jelly. I have tons of her voice recordings somewhere. All said n done , she has another life that I never took part of: “Social service”!!  

Her pictures here speak what I meant. Its amazing and iam proud of her.

My Heart: Bongie: Life was a beautiful song when I was associated with her. Good old mellifluous melodious song. Life felt sooo sweet and lovely. My name never sounded so lovely till she called me out. Listening to her smile was first thing in mornings I did and it just made by day more vibrant. I literally used to float on way to work after speaking to her. Smiling at strangers, being nice to colleagues ,for that matter, even blade of grass appeared live and ooze beauty, allowed mosquitoes to suck my blood(such a great mood I was)..This was the charm bongie did to me. Never my life was so beautiful. I began to feel younger and like college going teen I used to blush. This bongie made my life more sweeter than all rosogollass and roshomolai of bengal .

How did I meet her? Nothing short of filmy scenario. During my sabbatical wanderings, I happen to see her fb profile.

 One look at her pic, I was like..

“Coup de Forde”, (loosely translated it means hit by thunder lightening). For a moment time seemed frozen, here in front of my eyes is most innocent looking fabled beauty with almond eyes. I felt like ancient memory being woken, like life is futile if I don’t talk to this unknown magnetic  personality. What followed was making plans (I actually drew a flowchart J),drawing and re drawing strategies to come in contact with this IITian Bengali girl. I just knew, come what may, iam going to win her. I was unstoppable and drawing wits fom deepest crevices of my intelligence . And finally one day destiny swung in my favour. First contact through fb, later phone , finally culminating in flesh and blood.

When I first met her ,It was like my ancient soul finally intersected with most peaceful soul. I felt so fresh and peaceful. All zigzagging thoughts came to standstill. It was so magical. Moment that I hold so dear despite nostalgia is not my strong point. Such an earthy beauty, down to earth holding all qualities that are so contrast to mine yet I find such a deep connection with her of lifetimes.

My Soul :

Being in love is soo lovely. Life becomes suddenly poetic . At times poisoned by jealousy and inferiority complex. Now with plenty grey hairs and grey cells underneath , iam more wiser and patient.

what’s my take on love?  Well I don’t wish to be truthful as my honest view is too drastic and diametrical from world’s opinion. My soul has great clarity on this topic.I don’t think many out there will actually understand it .

Like my dear Russia whatsapped me recently “we all have unique relationship with each person and it will be personal and unique to only that person.” I guess she is right. I like to talk to some, love to trek with some other, laugh with another , cuddle with someone else…

 However iam all grateful to the Existence that I came across such a fantastic people in life. Creation is truly benevolent & magnificent. 

MEMOIRS OF MARALAND

MEMOIRS OF MARALAND

Its been two years to be precise when my boss told me that my job location would be Siaha aka Maraland. One look at map speaks it all. Its at remote corner of Mizoram. I laughed to myself. From south India to extreme south of North east India (Maraland) , that’s a helluva journey.  Many wondered how long would I last in such far off land esp with my background of being hopelessly choosy and pampered.

But two years down the lane, I can say with sure confidence that this is the best place I ve been and best moments stacked into two years of my life time. Every day, every moment was nothing short of jaw dropping awesome. I just enjoyed every experience that Maraland has to offer.

FIRST SIGHT OF MIZORAM: LENGPUI AIRPORT

As I looked at my transfer order . I foolishly thought it will never come and good times in Maraland will go forever. But here it is , in my hands. I hardly hoarded any personal belongings except lots of books and memories. I decide to write down my PERSONAL experiences (nothing official about it J) n dedicate it to all  my friends of maraland who made my life absolutely beautiful . The following blog will not be linear , is not any political anthropological economical historical educative narrative. It will be just my amateur observations on myriad topics which caught my attention. This blog is just a gossip from outsider point of view.

Like I said this blog is no linear narrative. I will crisscross across time and space from my mental memory touching the few out of millions of topics that touched me.

Dedicated to my close chums and colleagues ..n several nameless people who has touched me,who kept me day dreaming in dead of nights.

Abhinav,akhil,benji,jerry(n his cute daughter Hilma),Gracey (gentle ssoul and awesome singer),mary, Mc D (Fantastic family), atlua (Smile that reaches his eyes), vijay(NE Expert),mango (Cutest),Andy (JFK of Mizoram),Lodu (My strongest connection), NaughtyNaku,Ngolee(no way related to bruce-lee;)), lovelyFlo n many govt officials whose name I cant take for obvious reasons. There are tons of other names I didnt include for some reason or the other, be it strategic reasons or memory lapse at the time of blogging. I seek their apologies.

Maraland is land of tribe called Maras. They are spread across India and Myanmar. In Mizoram , maraland is quite distinct in culture language,dress habits etc I believe mostly this unique distinct identity is attributed to kolodyne river which cuts off maraland from main Mizoram..Unique feature of mizoram is concept of Tlawmngaihna . Well I cant pronounce it but it cant be literally translated into English. It can be said as code of ethics which knit the society. Its like dharma of tribe which puts welfare of society above others

What did I do in Mizoram?

In brief I can say I made great life long friendships, enjoyed wonderful experiences. I befriended almost everyone in my town. Everyone , from Important to Insignificant. From chai walla to Churches to Cops. bureaucrats to Burmese to  beautiful females to battle hardened army wallas to autorickshaw wallas. Some of friendships will endure forever. Some relationships will be surreal memory for all time to come. I climbed tallest mountain of Mizoram(Blue mountain), swam in rushing streams in valleys, trekked in dense jungles, learnt many skills, read tons of books, enjoyed local culture, lived life to the peak.

Terrain: 

CALL OF MYSTICAL MOUNTAIN

Mizoram is blessed with tons of virgin forests and all major cities and towns are on top of hills. I used to wonder why cities are built on top of hills when its common for civilizations to form around rivers streams in valleys. I guess in ancient days tribes built dwelling on top of hills for strategic reasons. Before advent of Christianity, inter tribe wars were rampant. Probably its easier to keep an eye on coming enemies from top of hills.

Tata SUMOS: 

Tata Sumos are most popular four wheeler vehicles in state of Mizoram , others being Mahindra Bolero and its variants SUVs. Sumos are lifelines of Mizoram just like in delhi its Metro railway. They connect all remote corners of Mizoram. There was time I used to think that Tatas must have kept Mizoram in mind when designing Sumo suvs. Sumos not just ferry passengers to all ends , but also goods and services. They act as super fast post men collecting packages and depositing to waiting recipient. Also I saw them collecting money from rural business men to give it to main wholeseller in bigger towns. If only we know the language , travel in sumo would be great experience. Drivers are dollops of gossip and their driving skills in negotiating the circuitous roads are worth the experience.

CAPITAL AIZAWL

CHURCH: 

Mizoram and Nagaland are Christian states : meaning all natives are Christian. Another most common thing we would get to see in Mizoram are churches. There is a church in each and every locality. We can say there are more churches than schools in Mizoram. Church dominates every mizo life, no wonder mizos r devoted. Churches keep buzzing with activity all day viz Sunday attendance, tithing, youth clubs, choirs, youth groups almost daily..

BLUE MOUNT SUMMIT: HIGHEST MOUNT OF MIZORAM

Women: North east women are most beautiful in India. And Mizoram houses awesome women. Women in Mizoram are not only hyper beautiful but they are also very hardworking compared to men. One peculiar sight I witnessed was most of shops are manned by women. You seldom find a guy there. Beunknownst to men of Mizoram, several local ladies confessed to me that their men are utterly lazy, good only for hunting and boozing around. Despite of all, Mizoram culture like any place else is Male dominated. I observed, often my lady friends hesitate to have booze with me in presence of mizo man. The reason they say is that women are made to believe that they all should be in good books of men.

IF NOT FOR MY PALS, LIFE WUD NEVER BE THE SAME

Inner Line Permit(ILP): For any outsider to enter Mizoram, they need ILP. Some colonial vestige but very contentious issue. Some people hate such system and some love to have it. For people coming from mainland , taking a visa-like-ILP in their own country to enter a state is like insult. Personally I don’t care as I don’t need it. But in my opinion such a small population (mere 10-11 lakh), its natural for natives to fear losing identity and inundation by outsiders either culturally or economically .

However how effective ILP is enforced , that’s matter of debate. Quite often NGOs use excuse of ILP for extortion of money. Despite of having ILP system, illegal migration of tons of Bangladeshis and Burmese into Mizoram is witnessed.

Cuisine :

Yes , Mizos like any other north eastern are heavily

Non-vegetarian. Yes they eat dog apart from pork beef etc. But no big deal! I remember an incident from my college days. A gentlemen asked my mizo pal, how can they eat dog when its mans best friend? To which he replied, you don’t say you love hen or goat when u slaughter it nor we do when it comes to dog. To my experience mizos don’t slaughter pet dogs.

I believe food and culture is decided by geography. Geography decides and dictates  colour, body , food,dress habits etc. Mizoram is hilly state and naturally agriculture was not viable option and ancient people had to depend more on meat for sustenance .

Mizos generally have heavy breakfast and slight snack for lunch and heavy dinner by 6 pm. I am of opinion (Which maybe wrong) that this habit are vestige from tribal days where they involve in heavy working in forests and walking in hilly terrain at crack of dawn only to return in evening. Food timings depending on natural light hence early breakfast and dinner.

The food which acted as energy muscle booster in past ,now appears to reason for diseases. Mizos now don’t do such labour though eating style is same. They chew kuwa(Betel nut/tamul), tobacco water, zarda , smoke all heavily and hopelessly addicted . No wonder diabetes and cancer is plaguing Mizoram unfortunately. Other problem is drug abuse. But for some farming/village communities opium is cultural. It acts as relaxant after hard day labour( This is true for most hill tribes of NE and Myanmar)

Communal harmony: Mizo people are highly endogamous. Rarely marry out of their tribe. (Guess their gene vitality must be coming down). Entire village remains highly united. Every one is related to everyone (almost). Once one high rank bureaucrat commented on my saving habit : Praveen, I really admire you mainlanders saving habit. We mizos never save. Iam trying to inculcate that habit among my staff but they refuse to comply. I replied : Sir, we save coz our future is insecure and we fear tomorrow . we fear no one will take care of us in time of need. Money is our security. Mizos never need to fear this. In any calamity , entire society will stand by and help each other. You folks dont have selfishness and cunningness of mainland and that’s really worth emulation by us. You people live for today, celebrate today and enjoy your lives ..but we save for tomorrow which never comes.

Racism : Yes , Racism exists. Discrimination exists. Just like North East folk are subject to snide remark and few cases of assault in places like delhi Mumbai etc, even mainlanders (Non mizo)are often subject to some harassment. But my experience in north east made me more mature. Now I strongly believe that Humans always finds a reason to discriminate. Be it colour or tribe or nationality or sex or whatever, Humans discriminate. Its also amongst themselves. Like Main mizo tribe(lushai) consider themselves superior to Lai and Mara tribes and viceversa.

Once my mara friend remarked that mizos are cheap and spendthrifts And main mizo friend say Maras are thieves and unpatriotic. Most of mizos say mainlanders are rogues etc. but again its perspective. Like one intelligent lovely looking Nurse I met telling to her friend who threw choicest racist slurs at me: “People are good and bad, its not their colour or region that decides. Some have good hormones n some bad””

Wow impressive. !!

Epilogue : I wrote this blog long ago but failed to upload due to million of reasons. Now sitting in mainland sometimes listening to mizo music or seeing through old pictures, Mind tend to get nostalgic ( which is never my strong point).

When I was studying in Hyderabad I used to have many mizo friends ,to whom I used to tell that I wanna visit Mizoram. Ten years down the lane when I visited Mizoram, surprisingly I met 06(Anthony nohro,VT,Momo,Phosa..Never knew they were maras when I was in hyd with them) of them at most unlikely places. Wow , Life took complete circle.

I , ME, MYSELF..!!

I wonder if I will ever visit these mystical mountains again which I have special bond. I guess next time if I come again , what all transformation will this place experience. Maybe more connection with mainland I hope and better facilities et al. Wonder when destiny will call me back to these Zo-Land(Land of Mountains )

Hopefully !!

CATCHING A THOUGHT FROM BOTH THE ENDS

CATCHING A THOUGHT FROM BOTH THE ENDS

I just woke up from a dream!!

I just woke from dream and for some compulsive reason was inspired to record this. I don’t remember all details of my dream but I remember seeing some of old places and people way back 20 years or so. When was the last time I remembered or thought of them? Again, never in last 20 years. Nostalgia is never my very strong point though I carry some vestiges of the said emotion or whatever we call it. I try and mostly not keep memories except very few rare and those as well, getting deleted or erased over a period of time. But suddenly out of blue, things which I believed I forgot  came to fore in my dream. I think I never forgot those events of such time periods, they were merely pushed to some remote corners of my memory bank. Maybe we never lose any information we collect, it’s just we over lap it with bundles of new information.

Maybe our memory banks store “All the information “ dating back to the formation of very first cell that made up as we call ourselves now? What iam talking about now is MIND and furthest reaches of Mind. Or merely of minuscule Mind. What about Creation beyond the realm of Mind and Mind just being micro part of it? Mind boggling and Mind numbing. I don’t know what to say. Words fail me, or maybe its beyond expression of words!!!

In my daily grind of life how often we go WITHIN?. Ever even imagine to access SECRETS OF DEEPEST SECRETS OF MIND AND CREATION? What makes us ,really US? All day so busy with conquering the outer world, filled with fears and insecurities, Greed and Compulsiveness, Just going on auto pilot of our compulsive deeply ingrained habits not realizing the immensity within ourselves. Just living the life of INNER poverty.

Why and how am I writing this though i find this juvenile? Absolutely no idea! For I myself all day keep lazing, talking nonsense with opposite sex ,reading exciting books, and daily grind again. But again I say, I just woke from dream and was inspired to put this on paper/MS word before I lose the mood of inspiration or I just forget and get back to daily grind of life routine life.

How often we know instinctively the presence of immensity …just behind the veil of life?..we might call it Gut feeling or some 6^th sense or something like that. Some events, films, books ,Gurus knowledge, certain times of day etc which knock us into thinking for a  moment. For a moment we lose ourselves to the Creativity of Existence. As if things just fallen into place and the bigger picture arises momentarily from confusing jig saw puzzle of myriad elements of mundane life.

Certain films like Inception,Lucy,Matrix(or say the writers and creative team involved in making those visuals of movie)..or the knowledge of Saints and Seers who have attained Enlightenment …books by Jules verne,Lee falk and others …all above films,words,people who make you wonder that drives you into Silence of Awe?

There are moments in my life, esp during twilight times of the day, when I can slip easily into myself, going within effortlessly, where as if on auto pilot I get disconnected with the world outside. Where iam no longer attached to almost everything that makes my identity as I/we/everyone knows me as ME..Moments where I can feel almost , almost everything within. I can feel my entire body,zooming through bones, flesh, blood, nerves, tips of hair sprouting through my skull to exterior…feeling brain, chemical juices, tips of bone…nerves enveloping my eye balls, mechanism driving my body to function..”That” which jolts power into this body .”That” which gives me Life..otherwise this body is mere dead body, a lump of carbon and other chemicals that decompose over a period of time. That something which electrifies this body ,That which is same that brings entire world to life. That what that is ,was and will be which I donno but I know IT exists, which I feel quite often. That which gave rise to single cell that brought life on this planet, that which brought entire galaxy into existence. That which made this vast confusing jig saw puzzle of life to form yet has a beautiful picture with mathematical precision when seen with understanding and top view. Call “THAT” as God,Existence,Life,Consciousness,Brahma or just that feeling and to describe our words fail for Its much bigger than mere understanding of our limited functioning of our Minds. All this feeling culminating with Moments where life within Me trying to burst from puny body to mix with vast life outside. Moments where I trying to free myself from prison body to merge with Greater “I”. 

other day one lady asked me if I enjoyed previous day party where we drank danced with gay abandon…well..though I do participate in social celebrations ,for me simple conscious movement of one finger is good enough to send me reeling with explosion of joy than unconscious disco under influence of alcohol .

 All this could be my hyper imagination gone awry or something whatever we call it. Like I said I just woke from a dream and am inspired to write this. For You and for Me.

First ray of light creeps into my room. Trance broken. Hunger pangs seep into my stomach. I come into my senses and bat my eyes which I didn’t since I started typing this . Again my worldly senses come to fore. Check phone,plan for day, Daily routine grind begins.

League of Extra Ordinary Gentlemen: Season 3

League of Extra Ordinary Gentlemen:  Season 3

Its been eons since I contributed anything to my blog. Not that I was devoid of ideas, its just I was too drenched in my travels and work.  And it’s against my company’s policy that I blog anything referring to it.

Now sitting in my cozy room, listening to filmy music of 90s ,I just wanna continue on amazing people I met during my voyage of life.

Its often said that you are product of Five people you spend most of time with.  I cant write 5..but here are THREE who made difference in my recent past.

KATARNAK KILL-DEEP (KD):

KD sirji is highly motivated NCC instructor and honorary Major whom I happen to meet over banking issue. He is man with electrifying personality. Extensively read and travelled. He is walking encyclopedic wisdom on military history and strategies.

Its highly impossible not to being impacted by his persona. Despite myself not having any armed forces background, I happen to imbibe many of his positive disciplined habits and reintroducing the same in my profession.

Being bibliophile myself i regale complete access to his library and reserves of wisdom shared liberally over tons of pegs of chai.

Once with a lazy junior I exclaimed: “You have to justify your salary, you have to give back to country every rupee it has given to you.” Later in some context I had to explain that these are work ethics I imbibed from KD sir apart from Discipline, Responsibility, Leadership, and other work ethics. Sooner or later we might be posted in diametrically opposites of the country but his lessons would last forever.

Arjun M : 

When I first saw this person he was quite introvert, quiet and vegan.  Dead opposite to me. Wild, loud and omnivorous! Ten years down the line (more or less), He is my confidante, family friend and partners in exploration, adventures and travels. Thanks to him, my lappy is filled with tons of E-books and music.

More about him would be written next blog. Our travels are quite often unplanned .Only start and end days are fixed and in between are wild map less unplanned journeys. They are never regular tourist beaten paths, we (Me, Him and his 3kg photography kit) just travel where our minds and legs decide in last moment. From Mountain tops to untouched Beaches, forgotten Temples and british era Churches. Forests to Spiritual ashrams. Always game for new adventure and journeys to places unknown!

Lights ! Camera ! Action! : My favourite films

It’s been ages since I blogged hence here I put some effort. Sitting peacefully in the Garden city, Bangalore here I let my creativity tap the ether for ideas. Well I will write on what I have very little idea: FILMS..!

 I seldom watch films . Till my 10^th standard I hardly went to a film theatre. (Most of films were seen in Officers club on Tuesdays) But once I entered into college, I went on absolute filmy rampage, watching a film every Friday. Blame it on citys most happening theatre “Sangeet” right next to my home in Lancer barracks, Hyderabad and citys best loafers Rajoe , Choji and Jacko for friends. So now iam back to my abstention period. Its been an year I guess I ve been to a film theatre so in dedication to my abstention period, I am penning down some films which touched my heart in last one year.

Lemme start with quote by dipika pudukone which I believe is very true. ( I am not really sure if she said or in these exact words as well)

“ I am proud to be part of business that educates and inspires masses”   

        

Political Biopic : Gandhi, Bose and Ambedkar

Attenbourgh Gandhi tops the list. Its still amazing to see the life and times of Mahatma Gandhi. There will be a line where He says in context of british, “are we fighting to punish (british) or fighting for freedom.” I was thrilled at clarity of his thought, no wonder he was pivotal in bringing down the union jack. Subash Chandra Bose the lion of Bengal is another interesting biopic related to freedom. Its full of heroism, international adventure and great convincing action by sachin kadrekar. Ambedkar is my second favourite, played by awesome kerala actor Mamooty who did total justice for his role. It sears your heart to see the society discrimination on base of caste. Even today we don’t find a single person to rise intellectual capacity of Ambedkar who despite being untouchable, holds Doctorate from Columbia (1^st Indian ), London universities in Politics, Economics, and Law. Some awesome inspiring genius He was. His  far reaching wisdom can be reflected in his grand work “Indian Constitution” which is single reason that till now, despite of worlds experts view that india would break soon as british left , and despite of fall of democracy in entire neighborhood…India survives, thrives and still exists as a single unit. One prime reason is the sheer genius of Ambedkar. What a man He was who single handedly changed the demography of Buddhism in India since the Buddha himself.

Motorcycle Diaries / Invictus and The Butler

Motorcycle Diaries surely had a deep impact on my mind and soul. It’s the Portuguese film with English subtitles. It’s the story of development of man whom world now knows as Che guevra . The international symbol of revolution and icon of youth and rebels. The film is memoirs of his travels as a student across the south America and how he changes from simple medical student to international revolutionary on seeing all the poverty, injustices and negative impact of crony crass capitalism . Ofcourse to know much more about Che , its best to watch two part documentary Che, but Motorcycle diaries is more than good enough to make you silent and deeply contemplative.

Invictus and The Butler: I bracketed together though one is set in America and another in south Africa. What connects both is cruel injustices faced by blacks historically. The butler is story of race relations between blacks and whites through the eyes of black butler in white house. And my current favourite Invictus is about story how Nelson Mandela unites the blacks and whites in end of Apartheid days with sort of rugby. Deeply touching from Rainbow nation as South Africa is called.

These two films really inspired me to scurry for book on Apartheid and Race relations in America. And whats one more common point is the influence of our own Mahatma Gandhi on these leaders. Martin luther king in USA and Nelson Mandela in South Africa , both were inspired by Gandhi’s teaching tried to assimilate the society rather than eliminate and exact revenge on superior class, whites.

Drama:  October sky, August Rush, Searching for Bobby fischer etc

In Assam while commuting in local bus few boys who were music performers recommended me this inspiring musical saga. Every music lover ought to see August rush , the heart string puller of a kid musical prodigy reuniting to his parents through his musical voyage. October Sky is again story of

bunch of science students lacking resources and education dreaming of building a rocket in a sleepy coal mine village for their science project. In credits we get to know that few of those students finally join NASA as scientists fulfilling their childhood dream. On hind sight I feel like its akin to Wings of Fire the autobio of Indian missile man, APJ Abdul Kalam. My main motivation for watching In Search of bobby fischer was my curiosity for mad chess genius bobby fischer though film has nothing to do with him but if you know some basic knowledge on chess and giants like fischer, micheal tal etc, you would certainly enjoy the film. Shawshank Redemption was super flop when the film was made but it was a sleeper hit in dvd sales , it’s the prison diary replete of stories of jail birds, hope and a haunting story line. Gran torino is all genius of clint eastwood and Big fish is fairy tale is the film that should be watched on weekend lazy nights. Enemy at Gates is story of world war tale over the fight for stalingard in soviet Russia and Schindlers List is holocaust based heart rending film on jew suffering during world war 2.  Though both the films can enjoyed by anyone, little idea of worlds state in 1940s would be immensely helpful and would make films more enriching and touchy..

Spy films: well..trust chouji and me…we had seen every james bond film screened in Sangeeth theatre. Spy films are always close to my heart ever since I was born. All Bond or Bourne Trilogy series ( Bournes Identity,Supremacy and ultimatum) are highly exaggerated but equally entertaining. People of my age would always choose Pierce Brosnan as their favourite Bond for his looks and suaveness. But my fav is Daniel Craig : Crude and Ruthless. My kind of man.  But in last year best spy films I saw were Indian.

Vishawaroopam / Madras café

Vishwaroopam is by Kamal Hassan being an undercover RAW agent deep in Al Qaeda. Never had I seen such an awesome tight script. No wonder Kamal Hassan is legend and Tamil film industry are kings of creativity in Indian Cinema. This is one film along Madras café I have seen multiple times without getting bored . Madras Cafe is strictly not spy film but I bracketed in here. It’s the story of RAW army officer in LTTE lanka which culminates in assassination of Rajiv Gandhi. For someone who followed LTTE and Assassination investigation , its sheer delight to see the similarities between reality and film. Kudos to John Abraham in making the film. Five stars to both the films.

well there ends few films that came across my mind. i hope you would share your favourite films as well..( dats the signature style of Panda girl ending all her blogs..)

Rise and Shine

Rain and Shine ..!!

Both the rain in the streets and incessant thoughts in my mind appear to never to cease. So many thoughts ran in past yet I procrastinated penning anyone of them. Even this blog was written in parts and snippets and now glued together. As nature unleashed its cold water projectiles to earth I smile at irony. Here its raining non stop and delhi is scorching at record heat. Whatever, iam kinda awe at majesty of world . Awe at life of human in general and my life and path in particular . My mind races from one end of feel-good moments to spectrum on the other end.

Simple vegetarian home made meal seems to warm heart more then multi course cuisine in fancy restaurants. I still get goose pimples when I face nature in its majestic splendor. Always awestruck at the divine artist who painted all those myriad colours on this planet. Cool wind brushing my hair, thirst quenching  water ,lonely mountains, simple sleep under shade of giant oaks , a good comic book, gentle drizzle , fresh air,  soothing full moon and countless stars (go out of city to witness this spectacle) , etc etc and so many simple moments and events that make our life more divine .

How can we ignore the human element? All those people whom you have walked along with you not long before etching deep into heart? My infinitely sweet baby bunny nephews whose simple adorable acts make my day making this life worth living, my banker pal Ashish without whom my life in vizag would ve been miserable ,horrible and definitely disabled,, big boss satya who taught me strategies both in chess and life, rushmi panda who is all magical and mental tease (meet her once, ur life wud neve be same) , VDs soothing simplicity n gentle smile (yet to see how much vileness is behind dat gentle smile n ravishing pink ) and many many more names that are hidden in crevices of my cranium

I don’t claim that any of these to be any special than you are. I don’t even claim that Iam like them or we are similar in thoughts and deeds n attitude and aptitude . There could be a massive personality chasm yet these are few who made me what iam today. For good or bad, they made my life all magical. Special and blissful. Fresh and Exotic!!!

All bliss? My mind refuses to stop , it goes on full throttle as it veers to darker shades  , I wonder how RAW officers work in enemy nations risking their lives 24/7? I happen to interact with soldiers from security establishment  sometime ago who had served at border. I was aghast at terrible conditions they live , far away from their families ,sometimes with zero connection  and in snowy forested mountainous areas for days and months. Some camps will be in areas where nature and terrain is harsher enemy then cross border enemy . Dealing with hostile population in JK and NE can shoot your cortisols to roof. All at the end of day no one gives them due credit they deserve.

I wondered how do tribal people survive in forests and mountains? how is water and sanitation is managed in mountains and I wonder how common people in JK,NE and naxal belt cope with almost daily violence and tension?

Well, iam not one to get into morals and sentiments. At times mind goes haywire. There are times iam all numb to societal morals and moments of love and affection. Guess this is how world is created. Sun and rain, black and white , stupids like me and genius like you and so on…

I happen to open my yahoo after ages and guess what I found? This stupid poem I might have written for some one whom I don’t even remember but smacks some moments of my extreme optimism

World says Skies and Sand never meet

At horizon, they do

World says Days and Nights are different

At twilight, each blends into other

World says, some are hard to catch

I say,hmm..havent you heard this?..Persistence beats Resistence??

Dive Deep Within…!!!

Dive Deep Within…!!!

“Joy is “A” of life not something that should be attained in the end”-Sadhguru in his book Joy 24/7

I really don’t know why I have chosen the title

 “Dive Deep Within”, but I did. Last time I blogged was ages ago, probably when dinosaurs and dragons stalked the earth and imagination alike. Professional commitments and personal laziness saw that I become redundant writer. Now i am back blogging my experiences!

Other day I was just relaxing with no particular thoughts in my balcony watching buildings in front of me. As cool wind played around, I could sense aroma in air but nothing caught my attention as my mind drifted from one thought to another aimlessly.

Then suddenly it happened. Everything in one millionth of second. I could see the buildings in front of me. But whats a big deal in it? I see those old lump of concrete everyday but today something changed the way I see. I could see that i am seeing. As if all my life I was blind and today eyes got the ability to see back. There was sudden spurt of extreme ecstasy all through me. I could feel my entire body in totality. Top to toe, all strands of hair , I could feel my entire body. My senses have heightened phenomenally. I could feel the breath pumping from depths of lungs to nostrils and the aroma it carries.

 But all this is secondary as I was exhilarated with very fact I could see things around me in different manner. Something changed. The quality of vision changed absolutely. Everything around appeared so lovely. Everything animate and inanimate…stones, dust,leaves,trees…air..my own hands..everything appeared so lovely. I fell in love with myself and existence around me,absolutely unconditionally.The climax that off euphoric feeling is that of my ability to locate the source of exhilaration. I was able to pinpoint the fountain of My Happiness.

It was emerging from within me. Its as simple as that. Source of happiness is from within.!!

All our lives we keep chasing happiness externally when the fountainhead of inexhaustible happiness is very much within. It was sudden realization how external objects merely magnify and reflect happiness present inside.

I read in zillion books that happiness is found within but its all intellectual understandings. But now I had that profound experience from deep within..it might lasted less than a second but this split second experience is worth tons of bookish knowledge.

Now I have tasted what n how it is,I really wonder how can I lengthen this state longer rather then a second. I really wonder how I can draw joy 24/7 from within consistently than make joy rare visitor in life??

Well, question has arisen…time for answer to arise..!! Time to Dive Deep Within!!!