Coming out as Dalit..!! (Part-1)

 

Coming out as Dalit..!! (Part-1)

Confession: Iam a Dalit! Saying this, lemme speak further..if possible read further

“Coming out as Dalit” is actually wonderful book by Yashica Dutt. (No piracy. Buy the book like I did) Book is memoir of the author and her journey through lens of identity. She was more a closet dalit trying to pass of as high caste lady in north India (Delhi). Thanks to her pretty looks & intellect she does it effortlessly. However post Rohit vemula incident , something in her gets stirred and she comes out boldly and embraces her identity which she has tried to forget if not erase.

I didn’t want to beat around bush and mention in some footnote about my identity hence written at top itself. The book also inspired me to come out in open. Not that I was ever hiding . But like all Dalits in india, they aren’t proud of it either or have moral courage to speak with conviction on their identity.

I read somewhere that In India , Muslim has constantly has to prove his patriotism! Dalit his merit & hardwork! Women her character!.

 

Frankly word caste was never of any importance to me as I never felt the need of it. Growing up in small time schools and colleges, caste was never of significance nor importance. My earliest memory was when house owners wanted to know our caste to which my family subtly put it as “We are telugu or andhraites” which is more linguistic or regional identity than caste idenitity. But I was too small to comprehend & left it there. Joining Central Govt where most of colleagues were from North Indian background (& me being fluent English speaking South Indian ) gave less exposure to caste politics . Moreover I was highly Urbanized English educated & cosmopolitan thinking to join any caste group friends or affiliate with any regional language or state cadre groups.

The First Jolt :

But the 1^st experience of caste politics came when I was sitting with some politician , who asked question innocuously. “What is your name?” . I was surprised  as he already knew my name. Again he asked me for my full name. Then it hit me , he wants to know my name so as to identify my caste based on my surname/title. Some where within me this moment hit me , made me defensive. While driving back, I wondered why my body chemistry involuntarily became defensive? Why I lost my over-confident swag?

 

 In that moment, its like ancient memory has woken up. I was literally transported back into time where all castist discrimination, humiliating subtle to direct remarks, those smirks was heaped on my ancestors from today to back to beginning of time. In that micro speck of moment, I could feel what it means to be a Dalit on earth. Like person who woke from deep amnesia, I could see or remember how through out my life I had to experience subtle yet strong caste laced discrimination. Funnily (or foolishly) I hardly recognized any of those as I was always chilled up , very happy going cheerful guy who always got whatever I wanted. So never complained in life.

Now I could see what my high caste gujarati gf (brief relationship decades ago) meant when she said “Praveen, my family wont allow your caste people even at my gate” (I was too dazzled by her to think import of her words btw), or when my tutor constant remarks “Praveen, why are you working so hard, you can easily get through exam” (Btw I was always damn good in science). I realized why Ekalavya & Karna had to face heap of insults due to accident of their low caste birth in mahabaratha. Why Ambedkar is reviled in contemporary india.

The second major jolt came when I got my first promotion. Entire department went ballistic with remarks accusing that I got my promotion only coz of my caste. What conveniently people forgot was I was hardest worker in my posting who delivered results beyond expectations within least resources and worked successfully in tough posting and was transferred more number of times than any of my contemporaries (btw many blame my repeated transfer on caste once again though I never believed it. More on that later). My knowledge in my subject of work is second to none and yet people doubted my efficiency. The barrage of accusations were so many & stinging that, frankly I really regretted accepting the promotion. I should have left the promotion and lived peacefully and unknown.

 

studying history makes you feel like you undertsood something. unless you lived through it, personally felt its consequence , you may not undertsand it " -- Psychology of money

 

COMING OUT AS DALIT (PART 2)

 

Coming out as Dalit..!! (Part-2)

 

 Introspection and contemplation

To be honest, I live my life kingsize. Whatever I wanted I achieved and my bucket list is always empty. But when you are in interacting with society , the caste matter definitely arises. My family had courage to give up caste certificate with next generation children admitting themselves in open category. But I know by doing it nothing would change.

Like I said iam never part of any groups or gangs. Call it spiritual inspiration, I chose not be part of any identity. Iam not radical or rebel fighting for rights or screaming loudly from roof tops. I understand caste based discrimination is here to stay. And it has reduced considerably and change will take centuries to happen. But at times when reality and identity based discrimination hits you on face, its hard to ignore.  

I read this “Racism , discrimination , bias do not come from the big moments. Its in small actions that mount up over time “

In Hathras (Uttar Pradesh) , when Dalit lady was raped by criminals & later body burnt (cremated is too polite) by State police, it shows how Dalits are institutionally discriminated by State. Would a non-dalit lady body be cremated by police if she isn’t dalit? Would she even be raped of she were a high caste dalit?. What about gross discrimination in premier colleges like AIIMS where dalit students are grossly sidelined & horrible ragging they have to undergo. While there was nationwide rage over rape cum murder of high caste Disha  in Hyderabad, same rape of street hawker of inferior caste didn’t catch attention of major media. While there was candle lit procession for jesscia lal death at India gate, the horrible rape of dalit family by high caste in Kairlanj in same period was ignored. Routine atrocities like dalit beaten coz they dared to sport moustache, sit on horse, had guts to open small eatery etc now hardly stirs any reaction, not even from Dalits any longer. Untouchbility is Indian reality both in rural and urban milieu.

When basic diginity is seized by high caste hindus, its not surprising that Dalits get converted to other religions. (Btw caste follows them there also..thats another story..).

Ruckus over Reservations

Iam sure every dalit was made to feel guilty for getting reservations in educations and jobs. But isn’t Reservations exist everywhere in world? America has affirmative action for blacks, yet USA is worlds powerful country. If people blame Dalits for Indians backwardness, what does it also say about non-dalit efficiency?. Arent crores in form tax breaks for industrialists is form of reservations ?.While most of Indians blame entire Indian backwardness on Reservations, I wonder what their source of this knowledge is if not for emotional rhetoric. There is no reservations in armed forces, then why did we lose 1962 war & how do you justify so many deaths in insurgency. If reservations pull back India , why isn’t any Indian private company in top 10 global companies while govt companies like ISRO,OIL,LIC etc are world class where reservations exist. In science & sports there is no reservation, then how come there are no windfall winners in Olympics & Nobel prize winners? How many Oscars did Indian film industry win afterall there is no reservations in film industry? I think we Indians as society ,all want to look scapegoats for collective failures and Dalits here are the fall guys. I strongly believe any society cant grow exclusively. Its swim or sink together. Only when all sections of society grow at same time, nation would flourish and grow.

check another small post on this link: 

http://matrixstrikesback.blogspot.com/2018/08/controversially-yours-curious-hate-case.html

Many Dalit organisations or intellectuals fight for caste elimination or radical measures. While not discounting their efforts, I personally don’t believe in any radical forceful change. Such change will eventually fail. Change should be slow and steady. Natural and organic. Radical change will only results in problems manifesting in another forms. We have to agree we moved far ahead as society but still miles to go. Iam optimistic, maybe in 100 or so years, all this will change. You cant expect 5000 year malaise to go in 70 years. Saying this, I don’t support migration to other religions as well. As caste mentality follows them there as well.  my friend was introduced in a church as high caste Christian ironically.

Final word..!

Like I said, iam no radical or rebel. I just prefer to live my life quietly. Iam no leader or messiah out to change the world or society. I respect every human who is trying to better his life by sweat on brow. Iam not going to justify or debate or argue on pros & cons. My life is very short and I prefer to live for myself. Saying this, I will do my bit for this society and world which has blessed me with such abundance. I want friends to know my identity and make their opinion or judgement whatever. I also want to say, I make no value judgments . I understand others predicaments in their daily dealing with me. I hold no offense. Some people will remain, some go away. Whatever it is Life is beautiful.  Que sera , sera- Whatever will be, will be..!  

 

 

 

 

Controversially yours: Curious hate case of Reservations

Controversially yours: Curious hate case of Reservations

At the outset let me tell you all, iam no evangelist seeking continuation or abolishing of reservation in India. I just don’t care as I don’t need it. But all the time, someone provokes me and iam tired of typing same content all time. So, for once for all I will blog it and send the link to my supporters and detractors, for both I have no time..Many of my arguments may be wrong and iam open for correction and if any super intelligent human/Alien out there disproves my logic iam more than willing to change my opinion.

“Reservations are bad for nation. Reservation is not providing level playing field. Reservations are bane for innovation etc etc etc”

so many times I hear…so many jokes , so many snide remarks to killing of SC/ST chaps across the nation for just being born in that community…well again …I don’t care. Iam simple greedy hedonist.Here is my case for people who say India is backward and quality is affected by SC/ST reservations

1)    If at most 50% of reservations( i think its 16% only) are pulling back country , then what would it tell you about other super qualified hardworking intelligent 50%. What difference did they make? why are they unable to take country to steller heights?

2)   In sports and armed forces there is no reservation, then why did Indian military lose 1962 war and status quo in 1965 war and badly beaten in sri lankan crisis? Now don’t blame politicians!. How many medals did we get in Olympics since independence? Now don’t blame sports administration. We Indians have become masters of excuses and blaming other and never taking the responsibility. Lets accept it.

3)    There are no reservations in business or private sector. So how many Indian companies figure in top 10 off fortune 500 ? well only 4 in entire list of which two are PSU (which ironically has reservations). How many nobel prizes did India win since independence in all fields.

4)    Ironically ISRO which has some kind of reservations is world class scientific establishment which has captured imagination of world, How do you explain its success off ISRO, OVL, DRDO or Indian Railways?

5)    There are no reservations in Film and entertainment and publishing industry. So how many Oscars or world class cinema did we produce? Still we call our lead actor “Hero”.And still our hero never ages , never fathers kids, everygreen 18 year old How silly. ? How many Booker’s prizes did India get after all there is no reservations in writing?

6)    How do we justify atrocities and crimes against Dalits? Dalits were killed just coz he had audacity to ride horse on his wedding or grow moustache. What about subtle snide remarks they have hear on daily basis in cities? Still two glass systems and untouchbility exists FYI in many parts of india.

7)   USA which is worlds strongest prosperous nation. Even they have Reservation of sorts, they call it Affirmative Action for Blacks and Red Indians. Now why despite of reservation, why is USA most prosperous nation? Every country has some sort of reservation for its deprived or indigenous citizens .

8)   People are against reservations. But Reservations are everywhere in india but in different jargons like Tax breaks and tax incentives for business enterprises, ladies only seats in buses or trains. All these props work under same logic as Reservations

9)    I haven’t yet gone into core analyticalresearch data or history. Let bygones be bygones. But I want people to watch film “Ambedkar”stellar performance and movie.(Since u guys are reading this, i also recommned to watch Gandhi and Motor cycle diaries) And if everyone who is complaining on reservation so much , then why are they not abolishing reservations? why not entire concerned citizenry approach their MLA/MP and pressurize them to abolish this system? BJP has brute majority, why dont they do it? Why why ?

10)  I have no data on how many dalits have actually filled in Reserved category and what is the proportion of Dalits to Non Dalits in government. Moreover Dalit Reservation is only in government jobs and schools and colleges. Now how much does these sectors account ?

Just 10 points . iam not discussed of 5000 yeas historical untold inspeakable injustices. Iam not presenting hard numbers of data to prove or disprove countrys inefficiency is linked to Dalits underperformance. Simple pointers. Feel free to drop your comments  or email me..

PS: someone told me that there used to be Blouse tax for kerala dalit women and when she has to pay money to wear blouse. Moreover when married , first wedding night she has to sleep with higher caste man. Well, in sex there is no caste discrimination or untouchibility.Eh?