RUSHDIES RUSTLINGS (Part 2)

RUSHDIES RUSTLINGS (Part 2)

Sitting all alone at pond in midst of nature with waves striking your leg playfully under starry sky in AOL ashram, my mind with nothing to chew, regressed into recent past over conversations that took place between me and a wonderful person called “Rushdie” few months ago. (Hence forth “ Rush” for convenience, well my dear reader, you will know more about this amazing character in next blog )

Couple of months back, Rush said in fleeting conversation that " She TRUSTS totally. "

Well., my personal thesaurus is very small and limited in its content and words such as these (Trust, nostalgia, forever, best pal etc etc) never figured in it. Not that I am traitor by nature, I probably have more sense of"Right and Wrong " than anyone around. But I am by nature Paranoid (professionally cultivated professional hazard) and I do understand the working of real world. 

Do not disturb. Already disturbed.!!

“Life is unfair, get used to it”---Bill gates

Now the question arises, Will I not feel bad when I get cheated or betrayed?..

Of course I will!!! But my question will never be Why me? Why ? Why?…

it will always be How ..How…How did you do it?

I don’t care why you cheated me. You have your reasons. I just want to know how you did it so that next time I will be careful.

 Better known devil then an unknown angel

Long time ago before I got enlightened by ways of real world, one my so-called then-trusted- pal fingered between me and my potential crush. Frankly with that, my relation never took off and if you think I threw him out, you folks are mistaken. He IS very much my friend even now. But now, iam more careful. Now that I know his weak points and strong ones. I manage things in such way there is no option for others to cheat or betray me.

There are no permanent friends or foes. Only permanent interests. 

Look how European nations are reacting when USA spied on them after Edward snowdens revelations, when they consider USA as their best friend. Words like Breach of Trust, Betrayal by Ally are flying across Atlantic. But friends, since when did Intelligence agencies work on trust? They work depending upon country’s interests not because someone is their friend or foe. 

This is a hard fact. This is how world functions.

 Its time even India snoop on world based on Chanakya and Machiavellian principles rather than hide behind Indian traditions like Ram rajya or Gandhi’s-Nehru legacy of Peace, Coexistence and Trust.

Mahabharata war , so called dharma yuddha is totally filled with Adharma. Rama-the ideal man killed Vali in treacherous way. Gods themselves cheat when they are born on this planet amongst humans. 

Ocean of White

Yeah I can hear Rush screeching “ its cosmic game dumbo, karma, gods leela, your zero brains never will understand cosmic plan..blah blah…”

Maybe, may not be. I speak from common mans point of view. Not from religious texts and top view. Iam no God.iam mere common man

Gandhi was product of time. knew how to use peace., He violently used peace very cleverly and threw out british buggers. Nehru  taking has principles literally and not knowing how to use them,trusted blindly thus losing 1962 war  and losing more than 60,000 kms to chinki china.

All talk about India being soft power is bullshit. You try to become soft power when you are incapable of becoming hard power.

Eh asli duniya hai –Boman irani to SRK in Don-1

Life never works on pure logic. Bad things happen to good people. And great things happen to undeserved. Like in chess match, our plan never works beyond first few moves. We need to continuously have to reassess everything and drop what’s unnecessary. Same thing with life ,buddies.

There is no rule that Gods will side good people and bad people will get roasted in hell. All these goodie goodie talk is only lull you and make you predictable thus conspired by society. Quicker you understand that you are solely responsible for good and bad being inflicted upon you, the better , thus saving agony of mental tension over unanswered questions such as Why me Why me…

Given a chance, every one will behave in most unfair way. Only fear of reprisals and repercussion stop you from being in that way. Only weak and helpless speak of morals. Nature of world is such that at every moment( almost) , exploitation takes place…in some way or the other…in smaller or bigger scale.

If things go wrong, no sentiments..Accept defeat. Pick whats left over and move on. If you have guts, plan for next move or else just walk off. Nothing to be embarrassed . This is how world is designed.

 What’s there to be embarrassed and seeing whom should we be embarrassed? I am of firm belief that we are no super important person that around world should revolve. I have no big fancy ideas about myself. I do what I can. Iam what iam. Worlds or society’s opinion is not required.. who cares for one insignificant person such as me in gigantic planet teeming with 7 billion population and look how insignificant our own planet which is mere micro dot in unlimited galaxies.

 Sweet dreams are made of this.
Who am I to disagree?
Traveled the world and the seven seas.
Everybody's looking for something.

Some of them want to use you.
Some of them want to get used by you.
Some of them want to abuse you.
Some of them want to be abused.
~Marylin Manson

Now the question comes if I would break anyone’s trust or betray anyone. Well whatever I write, whatever I believe, whatever my mind says… there something like basic DNA program which runs your life from cradle to grave. That will never allow me to break my word once I give.

Never in my recorded history I ever broke my word, even if it means changing the dynamics of destiny. Don’t believe it????. Ask my friends across the planet

Like  I said (or boasted playfully) in my previous blog.

“Praveen Sagar breaking Word is not remote probability but an  Absolute Impossibility.”

Now what do I see in air?...rushdies verbal projectiles? eeeks haaa

Bangalore Diaries: Praveen Vs Praveen

                         Praveen Vs Praveen



 

Very softly I blurted , almost in whisper “ Anna ..Check mate..!!!”

With no expression in my face, I saw time in my wrist watch. Its 12.30 am. That was the end of match I waited for three months which wound up in 45 minutes exact.

All the decorum and decency suddenly left me as I maniacally started laughing and rolling over. It was kind of volcano of vented up frustration gone amok.

45 minutes absolute silence broken by maniacal laughter

The beginning of this story began 3 months back when I was horribly defeated in chess just in 3 moves by satya Praveen anna (10 yrs ago I adopted him as my unofficial older brother,). None of other games I played lasted more than 5 minutes. Frankly I never play chess as it strains my tiny brains. Even baby can beat me with eyes shut and never in my life did I ever win any game.  But losing in 3 steps is record in itself.

Otherwise he would deliberately tease with me without checkmating me as he in great leisure swallows one after another pieces . Frustrated as SRK in Jab tak hai jaan, I made a tripartite agreement with God-I-don’t-belive-in and this Bhaiyaa that I would go back and be back to challenge him every month in Bangalore, till end of time. Even if it takes me to be re born million times over, I wont rest till I defeated him on his own turf. Ala Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator-2, I said  “ I will be back”

I object to being called a chess genius because I consider myself to be an all around genius who just happens to play chess, which is rather different.—Bobby Fischer

Cut back to present.  And I am back.

We both dug our heads into our hands concentrating deeply. It was his move. I could see that if he pushed his Castle straight, I am screwed. It’s scary. Give bhai even one chance, he would unleash worst genocide on chess board. I wondered how to skew his mind now. Shall I play some dirty mind games at this juncture? Shall I rake up some old painful memories so his mental balance goes for a toss?

During FIFA finals, opposition player Marco Materazzi deliberately abused Zidane of france which enraged him consequently losing world cup due to loss of judgment in crucial moments.

• Tactics flow from a positionally superior game. Best by test. -.—Bobby Fischer

But somehow my mind was too intense and words failed to come out. Moreover as I was debating about fair play, instead of taking Castle forward, He took it behind to protect his King.

Gods of Luck are certainly on my side today.

Thanks to my more than 300 games I practiced everyday in last 3 months on my laptop. I recognized the pattern of play. Even slight expression on face would alert him, so I buried my face further in my palms though deep inside me, I was having a wicked laughter.

It is difficult to play against Einstein’s theory.

• Mikhail Tal, after his first loss to Fischer,

When we sat for a match , my only goal was just to extend the game for more than 15 minutes, if possible try taking few of his soldiers. Not more. Don’t think this bhaiya as ordinary man. He is one of the youngest regional mangers, country managers and rose to high ranks in Siemens with brilliant maneuvering of his hyper shrewd mind. Even before can you react, his calculating mind would have gone miles into future before he makes his next move. His negotiating skills are real intellectual treat to be witnessed.

I'm not afraid of Spassky. The world knows I'm the best. You don't need a match to prove it. .—Bobby Fischer

But all biographies of eccentric chess genius Bobby  fischer I read in last 3 months prompted me to be little bolder. I made mental strategy. 

1)    Control the centre

2)    Protect king through strong castling

3)    Play defense drag the match for more than 15 minutes

Winning was never my goal. I know how dangerous this guy is . so I didn’t commit mistake of being hyper ambitious. So this was a small defensive tactic rather than an elaborate long range combative strategy

 

When I began the game , this is what I did. My pawns went to control the centre of board thus restricting his long range attacks. Next I fortified my King with Castling. 

Being follower of Gandhi and believer of non-violence, I didn’t start any killings though I had a chance. He drew first blood by breaking my pawns dominance of Centre.  Though blindly I allowed my second wave of pawn movement on Centre field, later I realized, by not killing I made smartest move. Without killing I totally restricted anykind of movement in centre field. (my goal is, no matter what, not to let Centre field to fall)

With centre field locked, he was not able to breach his ranks into my side of board. But conversely it also doesn’t allow me to go for long range attacks. But my goal is just to drag match for more than 15 minutes or longer. Stale mate or Draw can be icing on cake.

I the mind, body a mere auxiliary –Sherlock Holmes

Like bobby fischer who specialized in openings, bhai specialized in  queen-attacks with deadliest consequences on his opponents. The moment I feared came when he brought out his Queen to unleash its deadly dexterity on my soldiers.

As I said earlier, Lady luck is just in awesome love with me this day. I countered his Queen with oddest and least expected piece . My Horse.

Frankly I have to feel proud about following moves. My horse went on rampage of millennium. For first time, he went on defense by taking back his queen back to his side of board. But nevertheless my Horse went amok with absolute impunity. I triple forked him. Meaning my horse was in such position, that his three most important generals: Castle. Bishop and Queen were within my sniper cross hairs. Wow. I breached into his side of board.

I was little perplexed with turn of events which started moving at blind pace. I wondered if I should slow up a bit to relax my stretched brains.

Didn’t Krishna advised to Arjuna so did Morpheus to Neo in matrix. “Damn the compassion and Go for kill” or put bluntly like Branson of virgin Atlantic.                  ” Screw it, lets do it”

In swift executions, In subsequent moves, i finished off his Castle, Bishop, and finally his Nuclear missile: The Queen.

With his long range missiles like Castle, Queen dead, I relaxed my hold on centre. I let all my pieces to run amok. What followed was blind killings and suicide bombings. We both killed as many as we could. Randomly and blindly.

“One” he screeched, as all his pieces died leaving his King standing alone on battle field.

“WON”? I got confused? Is it Draw or Stale mate.

Vishwanath anand committed same mistake in past. Taking his superior position granted, he unwittingly Stale-mated his game thus screwing the game which he was about to win.

Only later I understood. That in next 16 moves I have to end the match or else its Draw.

Now iam in sticky position. All he need to do is fend me off for next 16 moves and my goal is to stop his dance of dilly dallying PLUS KILL him.

His goal is Status quo and I cannot imagine at this juncture that Status quo is status of future.

Now pendulum of victory can move either side. Now what began was battle of wits. I know this guy better than anyone, I  saw him in negotiating avatars. He can bring out ace even in most sticky positions. Topolov (Bulgarian grand master)once played against 4 chess players blindfolded. I tried same, trying to see all next moves in mind.

TWO. THREE.FOUR : I merely allowed some aimless movements as quietly I cut of all escape routes with my Castle and Queen

Five: I cornered King 

What followed was similar to

Bobby fischer vs VladmirSpassky

V Anand vs Topolov

Tendukar vs shoib akthar

Harry potter vs voldmort

Micheal corleaone vs barzini n 5 other mafia families

a Clean kill…!!!!

Six:  Very softly I blurted , almost in whisper “ bhaiya Check mate..!!!”

Phew . I muttered myself. No rebirths. No re matches. (luck can be fickle and my skill is totally unpredictable)

At 12.30 am.14.june.2013. 45^th minute is my golden moment. I know , this is no big match or atleast competitive. But for me. This personal battle means a lot. It my word.. Buttress to my will. Fulfillment of my word, oath I took 3 months ago.

Thank god , the feat that I felt would take  million re births, ended in 3 months.

Didn’t SRK in Don say something like this\

“ Praveen ,breaking his promise is not remote probability but an absolute impossibility”

THE HUNDREDTH BLOG

Preamble:

The best excuse for people to get rid of something is to say that it is very diffcult. When you consider something difficult, you can never reach there. Nothing is diffcult; you just need a desire  to do it – Sri sri

Well I never counted how many blogs I authored till recently when I saw the statistics.

99 not out..!!!

I never thought I would write 100 junk stuff when I actually started out this blog “ Chronicles of idle grey cells”. Statistics show that blog on Sudarshan kriya garnered the highest hits followed by Devipuram tantric temple.  Who cares if iam at 100 in blogosphere or zero. Numbers and labels never fascinated me.

I had few days before I have to join my new posting so I wanna do whatever is possible..climbing mountains…drenching in seas..finally finish Advance Meditation course at AOL, Bangalore.

I always wanna quote some of quotable quotes, hence though not relevant to topic on hand I liberally splattered them across this blog.

Three idiots: 

Our consciousness is very old, very ancient. When I travel around the world,, I don’t feel like iam meeting strangers, I feel like they are part of me and I know them, we may not know each others names, but we know each others souls; we feel connection. I have always felt that we all belong to one family. We all know each other. Sri Sri

This is short story of 3 idiots who met in AOL ashram and had wild whale of time. The

electrifying fun we had was just out of this world. Ek dum extraordinary. It was as if we knew each other for millions of years. Never in my life I had such a laughter. Even when we were under oath of silence we had wars with wild gestures leaving us in splits of peals of laughter. Its as if we are emanating laughing chemicals mixed with happy hormone dopamine’s. Seriously we all felt withdrawal symptoms when we went on our ways after course. Well…that’s amazing fun . Someone in course asked me after seeing our crazy antics. Why are u laughing so much.?? ..well dude.. Spirituality is all about happiness. If enlightenment gives me serious dead pan face…iam better without it ..Better be an ignorant happy man rather than enlightened serious man. 
well the names of one idiot is QUICK GUN FAL-GUN and JESUS the JAT YOGI  and myself . since this is 3 idiot then there should also be lovely kareena...yes...there is ... 

And special mention was equally interesting very mischievous naughty chirpy mirchi girl and a geek who puts every one at ease with her conversational skills. Since they are tiny humans of female species, lets us leave their privacy untouched.

This 100^th blog is dedicated to these interesting souls

What is important is that you remain CONTENTED. You must keep evaluating urself  from time to time. Ask yourself what you are doing all the time. Even if something brings pain in the short run, but iin long run it is beneficial to everyone then that is the right thing to do.

n  Sri Sri 

Experience:

The course goes for 4 days . 1^st day introduction and next 2.5 days silence. So 1^st day we three gossiped, talked enough to last for another week. It was funny how man reacts when he senses lack of anything in future. During war times, when death was imminent..people go on rape rampage ( chck world war 2 , except Indian soldiers. Everyone raped woman. Even 1971 same story by pakis) or see how prisoners on death sentence eat favourite food)

In this course I understood difference between Empty silence and Complete silence. In between the course .on 1^st day of silence. My mind went into deepest of its recess and suddenly it froze. All never ending incessant thoughts froze for 1^st time. I became empty. Its like life just passing through me without touching me. Wow .is this what silence does to a man. I was completely objective devoid of any judgment. No interpretations. No emotions. No feelings. No past. No future.No judgments. Just living. That’s all and that’s it.

Don’t look for respect from others; that makes you weak. Have respect for urself and no one can take ur self respect

n Sri sri 

I understood what actually happened inside me. For once my sense organs have fallen silent. They were receiving all data from outer world but they just received it without adding any interpretation to it. Usually how my mind acts is : if I sense anything., I take raw data add my own interpretation from past experiences or future dreams. U see a rose…u connect red color to blood or valentine or ex gf and all stories connected with her etc etc. u listen to a song. Ur mind brings back all forgotten memories even after decades. 

But now ., nothing of such thing happened. Almost I was centered and was almost totally in present . Why almost?. Iam still conscious of this experience isn’t It?...

Believe me its really beautiful to lead such life. It lasted till noon. As my mind stopped my body reacted in wild way. Nausea and vomiting  followed . Not really serious as it was just fer few minutes but the magical spell was broken. I am back to my older self. Again my mind was assaulted my never ending hurricane of thoughts. Back to life of subjective-interpreting-reactive mind.

Asking for explanation from others is a foolish thing and exlaining to others thinking they would understand is another foolishthing. it doesnt work both the ways. the best is just to move forward--Sri.Sri

Even though I was silent for next 2 days , it was mere Empty silence. On surface level, not complete silence where even your sense organs become silent. Though i was verbally silent., me and my room mates often indulged wild war like gestures of tom n jerry as if we were playing dumb charades for million dollars( that was wild fun)

Remember one thing. You are responsible for your happness. Come what may, whoever says whatsoever., you protect your mind. And keep your self ha[[y. you be determined. Iam not going to let my happiness be taken away by anybody. Even if God comes and yells at me. I will tell God, thanks you , this is your goft to me. Make this determination today—Sri Sri

After 4 days eating ashram satvik bland food, I sent a message of my food travails to my mentor-brotherly-friends in banglore city. The result : meal fit for kings was organized by time I hit city. Till late night , we crusied complete banglore…enjoying life to its peak

Finally as I got into my bus back to my home I wondered as I reflected. Was these 4 days a dream? It had almost symptoms of withdrawal. Well if we cant give up good memories how can we give up bad memories .isnt it ? or am I wrong ? Events are events. It’s the colour you dye it with that makes them happy or sad. Infact because of my boisterous fun we had in class, course instructor at one point chided me in public. Did I feel bad?...na..not at all. I was sooooo happy and full of glee..nothing touched me. Yeah my friends did protest later. ((Hmmm..friends are those who meet u in hell and say…common dude..lets have fun n rock and shock and awe hell matees…what a dudes we were .. I think great things  come in limited editions. We were sooo complementary though our characteristics were completely contradictory))

I think I need to add the “Power to be present in current moment” to my spiritual goals list. Just imagine, rather than one day, if I can live everyday like this, how wonderful would it be. You are ever new. You are hyper objective. Nothing can touch you, non judgmental non interpretive mind. Even in midst of chaos, you can be perfectly calm . In hectic activity we can be  serene and silent. Wow. Endless opportunities lie ahead of us both in materialistic and spiritual life. This moment is all you own. If you don’t live in this moment then you are not living your life. This moment has potential for infinity and its in our best interests not to throw it away so cheaply

Hmmm….whatever …two great friends..deep silence…serene climate in ashram..everyone are soo polite and courteous to one another even when everyone are strangers to other.

Those could be some golden unforgettable moments to feel gratitude for.

Do you know corruption begins where the sense of belonging ends? No body is corrupt whom they feel connected to. They ask for bribe only from those who feel are not their own, isn’t it so? We need to change this. We need to create a higher sense of belongingness-Sri Sri

I wondered what happened in the world in last 4 days. In last 10 years I never missed single day newspaper. Did Chinese chinkis leave Indian Territory? Did RAW spy sarabjit survive prison attack? Honk ..honk..life is calling…time to catch on. Thus daily grinding rigmarole runs a start.

If you have imbibed wisdom , there is no way you can be miserable. Wisdom is scuh that you know where there will be unpleasant days and there will be pleasant days. There will be good people and bad people. Some times your friends behave as enemies and your enemies become your good friends. All this is a way of life, these things happen. They help you become centred and solid.then no storm can shake you ---- Sri Sri