Thursday, October 15, 2009

Obituary Orkut

SOME THING ABOUT NOTHING

Lazing on my bed with absolute no awareness of anything on this planet one can say either iam on deep meditations LIKE a saint or I am on high trip on some drugs like LSD or Ecstasy. Hmmm this phenomenon is exclusively reserved for Sunday mornings but today is no Sunday but something special indeed. Today would be my last day in Hyderabad or worse still my last day even in Andhra Pradesh. Tomorrow by this time I would be experiencing the sands of coast sticking to my barefoot in Manglore.So i wanted to jot down something

For a quite a long time I tried juggling some words and reproduce some blog after all this is my last blog from Hyderabad . But with no avail. My mind went total dead . My brains neuro transmitters stopped producing happiness inducing chemicals like dopamine. All horror stories from newspapers like swine flu, terrorism., flood havoc , Chinese aggression , or some mumbo jumbo hardly produces tremor in my mental process. My body is already atrophied out of sheer laziness. Id, diwali, dusherra, ramzan or tribal newyear day has the same effect.. Like all previous years and incarnations. I just sleep by 10 wake up at 6. No prayers nor Celebrations. Be it Armageddon or Judgment day or End of the World or prologue to 3rd world war..Life is monotonously monotonous. Let the Asteroid or Earth-targeting-Meteor pinpoint my room. Let all Green House Gases increase in manifold and engulf the planet thus suffocating the life. Come what may-Accelerating Deforestation or Decelerating Water tables. Let the Aliens from Mars and Pluto invade World and enslave it to the last man and woman (Rakhi sawant exempted.., who can take her tantrums). Whatever happened .Come what may.

WHO CARES….!!!!

FOR ME WORLD MEANS NOTHING AND FOR WORLD IAM NON-EXISTENTIAL.

That should square up the things

Still nothing seems to flash in my mental screen yet. I fiddle my pen aimlessly on my paper pad. I see my cell phone in one remote corner which has got rusted –last time someone called on personal basis was in Jurassic age. I make a mental note that I should try to call some friends whom I guess,belive that I ve become some kind of mummy in Egyptian pyramids or lab rat for testing Aids Vaccine or worse still.. a gay marrying rahul mahajan on tv swyamvar

. . Phew…So many thoughts- nameless-aimless, senseless-useless slam my mind but none are worth my attention.. As I put my degrading zero-creative mind path into vaccum , I observed that slowly my mind slipping into some black hole kinda emptiness .From Emptiness to Loneliness. I recognize , the next step would be Depression or still worse Hallucination or even Death .

Lonliness can be dangerous especially when it makes u lose the sense of time and space. With no friends n foes, boyfriend or my sweet girlfriend, Tv or Internet, comics or novels..Mind finds no anchor to hang on.It finds no outlet for creative expression …when mind gets clouded with lonliness ..all strong impressions in your memory , like happiest or darkest moments in life esp negative memories start floating in ur mind. Dormant forgotten fears n tears become active..Typical Mind feeding on Mind Phenomena. All my creative skills to combat the tricks of mind seem to have depleted due to lack of human contact in recent times, either physically or virtually.

Face book / Orkut /Email /Snail mail /cellphone / pigeon-courier all other sources of communication were deleted last month. Several reasons came into my mind for that act but no single reasons in particular. Truth has many sides. I donno why I deleted my mail accounts ,

Neti , Neti –Not this , Not this ---Chandogya Upanishad
I guess coz iam too jealous at the photos people show off

Neti Neti


I guess I could not stand empty scrapbook

Neti Neti

I guess social networking sites are plain wastage of time

Phew …I donno ..who cares …neither u nor myself …..so let us give it a decent burial without raking up the past kimonos. I really donno what iam writing as well.Its Some thing about Nothing or Nothing about Something.

Hmm….Its time to bid adieu to Hyderabad where I grew up right from the days I was toddler…..hmmm…its only matter of days before my mind automatically erases the past memoirs to start a fresh slate (trust me , having a extreme short term memory is an advantage .No emotional baggage and no nostalgia )



Remember what they say in Romanian…

Prin depratea dragstea se vita (Long gone , Soon Forgotten )-Same with memories

Viva YMCA….Viva Hyderabad

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