Destination Dharmasala

Essentially your holiday begins the moment you leave for destination. Thus spake Sri Sri. I was in Delhi on some work which extended beyond weekend and had Sat & Sunday at hand with no work. how bug of Dharmasala was inserted in mind which I was unable to remove no matter what. Million times in previous week, all possible scenarios assaulted to me. Should I go or not go!!. If I stayed back, I would have just rolled on bed or read a book. Nothing beyond. But going to a new place always made me little nervous & add to it my inertia & laziness. 

Dhauladhar ranges that over look Dharmasala is image to behold. We see them once we land on Kangra airport. It doesn't matter where you are in Dharmasala or McLeod, they follow you. Watching huge snowy peaks melts your mind into blissful silence.

Like always with no planning or preparation, one previous day, I, at last minute booked the flight tickets & hotel. Let the consequences go to hell...year is ending, lemme do something scary.

Paragliding experience: While driving to Norbulingka Institute, I was stopped by guy who asked if I like trying Paragliding. As it was back of my mind, I took the dive. While I expected sheer thrills & fear, it was at best, like swinging in joola/swing. Pilot at one point hilariously prodding me to scream.

I was kinda obsessed with Tibetan Buddhism mostly through stories I read as teen than, Exotica mystical aura surrounded them which attracted . I devoted Fables of yogic meditation masters of Tibetan Buddhism like Milerepa, Nagarjuna, Naropa, Tilopa etc...books on Beyul Demoshong, lobsang rampa who wrote series of books.

This is where HH Dalai lama lives. Heavily secured with barb & concertina wire. Ofcourse he is hot target to Chinese communists. Around his place, we find several devotees doing circumbulations repeating mantras over rosary as mark of respect , devotion& cleansing their soul.

Tibetan Buddhism is one of my favorite themes. Btw I ve multiple favorites. So when I found window of opportunity to visit McLeod gunj, Himachal, I pounced without plan or preparation.Well, I couldn't visit many of monasteries due to covid lockdown. I wanted to see Gyuoto tantric Monastery or Tibetan library where they tried to preserve their knowledge.

McLeod gunj is seat of Govt-in-Exile for HH Dalai Lama .When China invaded Tibet, his spiritual ruler Dalai Lama escaped 2 India (Kundan & 7 years in Tibet r beautiful movies on thus subject) . When entire world didn't dare to offer refugee to Him, it was India which gave him & his 80,000 followers, land 2 live & refugee status. I visited few settlements in Karnataka, Tamilnadu, Delhi but nothing beats McLeod. China no wonder finds Tibetans in India a thorn but Courage high integrity & moral responsibility shown by then PM Nehru was admirable.

Highest Cricket stadium in elevation in India 

Mountains: Feast to eyes

Behind the walls stays HH Dalai lama.

Tibetan flag of non-existant independent Nation. Tibetans in their home country,Tibet which now is under rule of China dare not to worship Dalai lama. His picture is prohibited. Tibetan flag invites punishment under autocratic China. However in McLeod gunj, they are free to do whatever they want. Everywhere in every shop & house they carry photo of Dalai Lama. They have their own Govt-in-Exile which deliberates & discusses their future. Tibetans still hope to return one day back to their homeland which now I wonder if it's even possible.

Maroon monks all around. HH Dalai lama has established his Govt in exile here. Tibetan refugees built entire city, culture from scratch. Schools, hospitals, culture, everything to preserve what they left behind in Tibet.

Melt in magnificence of mountains. The silence, gentle chilly wind, ..totally blissful 

Totally zen

Norbulingka Institute. 

.Tibetan breakfast👆🏼Tibetan bread, Tsampa, potato katsa & butter tea. 

Host tried to convince me to to try other stuff as many may not like it or atleast indianize it by making it sweet or spicy. I was like, what? Bring it on. This is what pple like Milerapa to Naropa to Tilopa to Dalai lama must ve eaten.I ve been reading on them for 20 years in various Tibetan Buddhist books. Now finally got chance to eat. Bring it on. Moreover I didn't travel all the way to eat dosa or parotas.Well, it was yummy but also very heavy.Tsampa is very good for hikers & diabetic. Simple barley

Are you Tourist or Traveller or Pilgrim or Explorer. Well, I don't know the difference either. But I think Place &, Person mind makes the difference. 

In memory of Tibetan martyrs who have fallen to Chinese tyranny 

I had only 3 points in agenda which I decided while on flight. Watch Dhauladhar ranges (melt into its magnificence). 2. Eat local cuisine in monasteries 3. Meet this person.This man who is 99 yrs, a polymath, mountaineer, civil servant, personal friend of Nehru & Dalai lama, can speak multiple languages, authored many books, conducted 1st elections in Spiti valley after trekking for 57 days in snowy mountains, & worked lifelong for cause of tibetans. What a intense life he lived!! Meeting him certainly epoch moment. How do I know him? He is my friends grandfather.

My hotel room

Girl from Havana

 Spoiler: I know no girl from Havana nor can even locate it on map. The title origin came from instance where I typed a person name & it was autocorrected into Havana. During such one off conversation or from that very conversation I happen to develop some interesting insights into my own current conundrum & general human tendencies.

First two scenarios about two primary characters or themes "Beauty & Brains". It's isn't that either character ve both in abundance but mostly known for it.

Girl from Havana is girl of jio tower height, white as omlette & colorful as Asian paints. Frankly I never observed her closely but few micro second glance here & there. But she is quite (just) attractive , scintillating at speech all while knowing the impact her presence causes at same time born in certain culture, time & circumstances makes her wary of surroundings as well hence restricting her reaction mostly to mental hurricane of abuses against uninvited catcalls or unsolicited attention. Maybe she might be involved in silent murders but who knows 🤷🤔..just kidding...

On Other extreme is me who is undergoing certain metamorphosis while penning this post. As far as I remember, I was reading on certain genre since childhood which is now trade I practice n now is my bread n butter. With tons of literature & case studies under your belt, chances of taking calculated decisions courageously are quite high while in general people play it safe or aim status quo. Offlate I had realization that my life (or life in general) is frighteningly short & sands of time in clock is filtering away. I ve no time to play safe or live small. No time to be diplomatic in communication. Iam what iam. Unapologetically Me. As long as iam not doing anything illegal & criminal, I will take on the consequences . I don't say I live dangerously. But judiciously keeping away all things unnecessary like futurless relationships, unwanted friendships, shallow acquaintance, useless pursuits. No more I read everything that I come across..it's specific genre (now only two genres Infact). I no longer aim long life but deep life. Life of intensity & depth.

Suddenly I realize, more I live my own life, world starts prodding & provking you. I stopped socializing & kept aloof. Crowds always make me nervous & fake smiles, pampering other ego a herculean task. I no longer want to live artificially shallow, rather choose consciously to live authentically with integrity. Now my silence & non-involvment is taken as arrogance & conceit. I just let people believe so. They started coming with conclusion from what is ever available at first thought. This guy is arrogant coz of intellectual domination & informational warehouse he possessed. Some call it confidence, over confidence & arrogance.


Just coz you are blessed with some thing extra doest make you any talented or happier than any person. (Except in chosen field). Kishire Kumar is versatile singer but failed in all 4-marriages. His advantage is that his passion & talent aligned with his say job. And the work place is place where you spend most of your life.

Now in both cases , I realized greatest blessings or gift has become burden & baggage at times. In this process of not to send wrong signals (of being conceited or showoff) I try to keep aloof or tend to become silence or just mind own business...Often even this , would be construed as sheer arrogance or vanity. After a point, sarcastic remarks would follow, jokes with negative undertones will be cracked. If I remain silent, again iam.branded as jackass & if I react, now accusation is confirmed. Catch 22 situation. More often toxic moods in me due to all these make.me more bitter & angry. Now its cyclical.

 

Truth is always spoken in jest. Most of sarcasticnegative comments we hear as joke is actually true. Recently I realized If everyone waiting to see mr fail or fall down.Typical case of shedenfreude. I accept iam no team player & prefer to be solo operative. When Girl from Havana mentioned how world perceived her as arrogant or she is kinda loner despite of world at her beck& call, I exactly understood what she is trying to convey. People around her milling rumors overtime , crediting her work More to looks then her handwork, waiting to watch her fail with glee...I kinda felt Yo, I understand!!!

I will not be surprised if someone says this blog itself a action out of hubris & conceited. Maybe it's true. Maybe it's introspection where I don't want to be modest & play safe by pushing inner feelings under carpet. Who cares. Anyways I ve tons of flaws. This one adds to some foot

Now I wonder if iam imagining all these or mind working over time in wilderness or seeing shadows where there is no light. Whatever , I just hope to maintain my sanity, equanimity & ignore worlds taunts.

Girl from Havana

Four Horsemen: A General, A Terrorist, A Spymaster, A Naxalite

Is formal education in top universities prerogative for hitting pinnacle in chosen field ? Maybe yes, but not necessarily . We seldom hear IIT/IIM alumni starting something like Fortune 500 companies. Once ISRO chairman remarked that his top engineers are from ordinary colleges, not IIT/MIT. Maybe they are brilliant minds but not game changers. RGV film director said he never learnt film making in traditional way. One camera man working for him during his first film was astonished by his level of clarity and depth of subject despite being total novice. However I have little knowledge on general subjects but nevertheless enjoyed military history and global conflict from entertainment perspective.

Reading on some of these characters revealed that these were nobody with no formal education. But they made their mark in their chosen field. Iam not glorifying them nor i say they are good people , kind hearted, noble men. In war, only one things counts: “Victory”. Nothing else matters. (Perhaps , Being still alive is another that counts ). I have listed four of them. There could be million others. But I confess, i don’t know any of them. If you know, please tell me in comments.

The four are  Gen Giap (Vo Nguyen Giap), Pottu amman, Amrullah saleh, and Tech Madhu

1. Gen Giap, was nicknamed as Red napoleon &  was self taught Vietnamese soldier with no military training yet gained his place in pantheon of greatest military generals. He converted rag tag gang of rebels into fighting force that defeated French and USA (Most popular image of Americans fleeing in chopper from terrace of embassy). Americans frustrated fighting against his army must have bombed million bombs in two weeks, poured tons of brutal Agent Orange which burnt entire forests to flush rebels. He brilliantly countered hitech american weapons with simple jugads, determination, personal charisma and built whole new cities under the ground from where warfare was effectively carried out. ( Google to know more about these ratlines & underground cities)

2.  Pottu Amman was Intelligence chief of LTTE, the dreaded tamil rebel group of sri lanka , the only militant group that had functional army, navy and airforce. This guy was considered as idiot as student , introvert and paranoid as youth. But these very qualities made him most effective & dangerous intelligence chief in this region. Academic brilliance is never prerequsite to run intel-agency. Lateral thinking is. Always eager to learn, he procured training manuals across the world and localized the lessons to suit local conditions. He was so effective that no one knew how he looked. For decades, intelligence agencies tried to get his photo but in vain (Reminds me cold war East german intel head “Marcus Wolf- known as Man without a face, who made America and its allies run for money, Wiki him friends). Under him , two Prime ministers of two nations (Sri lanka and India ) were assassinated, checkmated Indian army (IPKF), converted LTTE into massive military machine. 

3. Amerllah saleh though born in poor family in Afghanistan rose in ranks to become Spy master of Afghan intelligence. His network so effective that he was 1^st to state that Osama bin laden was in Pakistan much before US Navy seals took him out in abbotabad, Pakistan. As young guy he impressed his USA CIA trainers with his hard work and enthusiasm to learn beyond syllabus. One of his famous lines that I read “ Sure & if they kill me, I have told my family & friends not to complain about anything coz I ve killed many of them with pride, so iam very legitimate target when I stand against them”

Recently I was listening to interview of Tech Madhu. Like any of Naxalite, he is known by many names but popularly known as Tech Madhu. Born in poor family, he had intense desire to become engineer. After 10^th , he joined industries as helper, picked up trade, always curious how machines worked. He worked more for knowledge than money. Maoists lured him into their organization by appealing to his thirst for knowledge. (he was promised he could become engineer within their ranks. Moreever he never had money to pay for higher education). Just with 10^th class education, he procured books on weaponry, developed designs, learnt engineering through hands on and finally developed rocket launcher tech which shook nations security agencies. Ofcourse later he was arrested and now runs a small industry with 50 employees. When questioned how he developed modern machines without formal knowledge : he simply said “ I think intensely on problem for long time till the solution comes up”

One common pattern I observed that all these were born out of circumstances, War ravaged nations or perceived injustices. Born in conflict situations, they were able to leverage their natural talent by fighting against much bigger opposition. There are millions like them in different fields. Anyone you know? Lemme know?

Wangmo Dorge

 Hygge”, which is a Danish word. Hygge is when you are at your home, under a blanket sipping your favourite beverage, talking to your best friends and family members as a storm rages outside. Hygge is about the coziness of your soul.

Well, she is no Hygge. She is more than that. She is blend of supergirl, miss universe & Lara croft .Coy & Cute. Ferocious & Fantastic. Warrior & Princess. Amazing personality that literally made me gape with awe& wonder. 

I always value good conversation, magical moments, heart touching actions, exciting gossip, inspiring interactions. And above all, a good human. She is all & much much more. You will be remembered for all eons to come

. MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY

Ps: Wangmo means strong. Dorge means Thunder in Tibetan Buddhist folklore

Zahir, in Arabic, means visible, present, incapable of going unnoticed. It is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupies our every thought, until we can think of nothing else. This can be considered either a state of holiness or of madness or simply YOU..the sweetheart of solace

🌹🦀

Hate to see myself replaced 

My schoolmate whom I met after 20 yrs once told me that I was very argumentative as kid. Anytime in debate or discussion, i would pull down all facts figures logic etc for superior intellectual domination. Yet not once , I argued with auntyji. Not once I ever pointed she was wrong. Despite knowing I kept my silence. I think i just didnt have heart to see her in losing position or where I disprove her. Moreover what am I getting out of it..Nothing!!. let her take victory . Her happiness is mine. Moreover I value her more than my irrelevant ego. So I keep my silence 

We always imagine bad luck comes like truck to run you over. But at times it comes like vapor yet it's consequences vaporize you. Karma need not always come as sledgehammer and smash your head...at times, it comes in soft manner where u end up saying stupid things u didn't mean or slip over toothpaste & end up smashing ur own brains...🤷🏾‍♂️

Being with aunty or being at this phase of life unveiled many secrets of life. I realized I never loved anyone till aunty stepped in. Maybe it's my comfortness or her constant verbiage & verbose that made me addicted to her. I loved our daily conversations where I opened n spoke my heart which is rare, considering iam always closed & shut personality. I loved her grit& way she handled her life. Somewhere I felt secure under feathers like mother hen for I never ambitious nor sought anything in world. But once she came in life, I changed. I wanted best for her & her world. (She came with package like samosa..3 points).

Unknowingly I was totally consumed by phenomena called Auntyji. 

I was never domesticated tame guy. Always wild & unconventional. But for the first time, I toyed with idea of marriage..maybe she is 1 whom 1 can grow old with,. Wake up to.see the same face every morning ..I know.many would be shell shocked. But I did think. Once that idea rooted in mind, I started imagining all hypothetical situations that would emerge from that decision and  my response. Being March-Born, iam always hyper imaginative. What if she kicks me out of her home, then what?, how would my sisters react? How should I divide my time between  office, Delhi & my native place. What about my old parents. What about properties, financial..my job/her job...future... etx etc etc...all while such thoughts were entertained....Karma hits in..either to provoke or obliterate...whatever & however the situation went, things went south & everything collapsed 

Here's a cute incident with her. Once On a call, she spoke for more than a hour, non stop, all alone,...only after hour she realised I haven't uttered a word & asks why iam so silent. "If u only allow me sweetie, if u allow me, then I can say something was my reply...haha

Will I find another such, I don't know nor iam interested...let Fate take its own course...I don't care..once again, I float in galaxy n let nature take its own course.....Why am I quiet or never share deepest details of my life?. Iam never sure. Never confident. Fickle & never trusting myself. I have no clue what my next move is. I always go with flow...

...

Kargil- War on peaks

 Where soldiers from all regions(including north east), religions (including islam) backed by all other overt n shadow agencies fought most bloodiest battle in history of india. There was no religion here except Patriotism. There was no race here except Tricolour. That's Kargil conflict for you all in brief.

I specifically mentioned All Regions coz we tend to associate armed forces mostly to north India when we had martyrs from North east and south India also. All Religions again,patriotism is assumed as owned by some religions while ignoring others esp when Muslims soldiers as well died for perching flag on frozen heights.

It was not just army, but also commandos from Navy ( MARCOS) Paramilitary, intelligence (RAW-VIKAS commandos), Airforce gave their blood on snowy peaks. Again wars are fought on multiple fronts. Be at borders or in Board rooms. Other agencies like Diplomats swung world's opinion to back India; Intel agencies who were able to tap mushraff secret secured call from China to paki field commanders. That single call nailed pak's lies to world and changed America views on kargil conflict.

Loc region is always Grabbers Keepers. Musharraf plan was perfect. Occupy peaks & stay on. What he couldn't factor in was grit of jawan of Indian army. War was bloody & brutal & no holds barred. Fighting uphill, with scant resources ( only then Indians realised we lacked what we need in high level mountain warfare) was sheer mind-boggling challenge. But grit of Indian army was made more tougher than iron nails. They soon conquered the peaks. Kargil was fought led by young officers. Sacrifices of these young officers Inspired even veterans, legends were born.

After 1971 war, Pakistani POW Gen Niazi was confined in Jabalpur cantonment. Eminent journalist Kushwant Singh interviewed him & in some context asked him what's urdu inscription hung behind him. He said " Allah stands on side of truth". Kushwant Singh then said " yes, India won because India was on side of Dharma". Same applies to kargil.

What happened later was sadly Like any other major crisis incident. Review commitees set up, blame game between armed forces vs intelligence agencies vs political class while no one took blame (remember how 1971 war credit was taken by everyone).

 Kargil & 1971 war are two wars I read extensively. As kargil issue happened between May-July 1999, these memories rose in my mind & spontaneously written this post. 

Seeker guides on spiritual odyssey

 My fascination with Fables n Fairy tales began on my mother lap as a kid whileshe narrated stories from folklore & mythology. Among all those tons of books on spirituality i read i bring out few best within my limited understnding. All are extremely good hence there is no best among this list.Each has its own speciality n uniquness.Here i go:

* Warning : some of these might be accused of being charlatans. Use your own judgment. My opinion is simple: i take what benefits me & leave the world opinion to world.

1. Autobiography of yogi & Himalayan masters by Paramahamsa Yogananda & Swami Rama
I bracket them under one kind. Both are amazing journeys of boy saints under their respective enlightened Masters from India to America. Probably they are best export of India to west after Swami Vivekananda . Both books speak of amazing anecdotes of siddhis. While Yogananda exposed world to amazing immortal Babaji , Swami Rama spoke on Himalayan traditions & was.also accused as CIA agent in India & fraud in America. Film Baba by Rajinikanth was partly influenced by both the books. Books by both the authors subsequent to these are great read to whet spiritual appetite of seekers & aspirants.

 

2. Stumbling into Infinity by Micheal Fishman: Author is one of foremost disciple of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar who started Art of Living. It’s bitter-sweet roller-coaster journey of Author with Guruji. It’s not story of miracles & wonders but gentle story of doubting disciple journey before becoming ardent believer. It is also story of Sri Sri from his days under Mahesh Yogi of Transcendental Meditation , building of organization, authors part in growing up etc. Ashtavakra Gita by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is quite a revelation which is well interpreted for modern times. I came to know later that Mahesh Yogi who was most popular Guru in 60s (Beatles trained yoga under him) was also teacher to Jaggi vasudev (Isha foundation), Rishi Prabhakar (SSY) & Sri Sri Ravi Shankar (AoL).

3. “Destined into infinity by Stephen Knapp” & “He came to set Captives free by Rebecca Brown” & “Reminisences of seeker by Kapil Bhaskar ”
These three can be termed as spiritual thrillers though I can’t say how true the stories are. First two are more or less same while third can be read free on Kindle Unlimited. First was written by ISCKON devotee & the story is about foreigner who on visit to India discovers that he is destined to battle asuras with help of his Master who teaches him Narayana mantras while Rebecca claims to be help exWitch to fight against Satanists who allegedly infiltrated into society through catholic church & new age teachings (that included Lord Shiva, Yoga, meditation, TV series etc through which Satan controls humans). Again she was declared as fraud. However book was quite edgy. Similarly Kapil Bhaskar (he can be found on FB) states that he used occult to grow rich & famous . His ex Gurus in occult use him to get themselves rich & powerful. But in this process loses a.lot ,however later he was saved by genuine Guru.

4. Aghora Trilogy by Robert Svoboda 

Life is mere memory ., be it beautiful or bitter, its just a memory” muses Aghori Vimalananda. I read that line in Odessey book store when i was a teen. I never got enough funds to buy that book. I had to wait for another 5 years before i could lay my hands on it

Aghora 1(the Left hand of God); Aghora 2(Kundalini); Aghora 3 (Law of Karma). When i read Aghora-1 for the first time i lost half my sleep in nights due to sheer fear.All books i read till now are books that go easy on reader but Aghora triology is no-holds-barred .He shows no mercy and is often ruthlessly frank.No sugar coating for benefit of ignorant reader.These books are of Left hand of Tantra. Aghoris themslves are fierce saints who are said to eat dead bodies and these books “Left hand of Tantras” are more extreme in frankness. Though not suggested for faint hearts, neverthless its very informative which would open new grooves in your brain
Western world or urban populace knew less of Aghora Sadhus till these books came out. Author dispels myths around these ferocious saints who are said to eat human meat& involve scary rituals. The book is of author & his interactions with Vimalananda Aghori. Vimalananda lives like any city dweller in city, gambles in horses, enjoys life to peak as householder while being intense devotee of Goddesses. He opens the world of Aghora discipline & culture to his disciples while ordering him not to publish about him for 20 yrs after his death. Very fantastic book.

5. Buddhism:

Meditation has now become synonymous with image of serene Buddha in meditative state. Buddha was first revolutionary who defied existing status quo & order of the day. The popular memory of Buddhism is always maroon robed lamas, hidden esoteric potala palace of gentle Dalai Lama & mystical monasteries. Tibetan Buddhism (sikkim, ladakh, Tibet, Arunachal) was hidden under mystery almost till China occupied it. Padmasambhava, Milerepa, Nagarjuna etc great torch bearers of Buddhist wisdom that pervades to this day.

Lobsang Rampa (Author of 13 books with “The third eye “ being most popular) spoke about most bizzare wonders & powers of lamas. Aliens, secret passages into earth, astral travel to distant plans, invisibility, 3rd eye operations, soul transfer etc (wiki him for more) Western audiences didn’t know how to see his phenomenon as till that time no one could claim to be expert on Tibetan Buddhism . To my utter luck, I discovered book by unknown author made concise book including interesting parts of all 13 books. My interest in spirituality as 17 year old was totally due to his books.

Jetsunma Tenzin palmo, bio “Cave in the Snow”
is about European lady who gets attracted to Buddhism & comes to India. Does severe 12 year penance in snowy caves (3 yrs in total isolation) of Himalayas. She takes a vow to get enlightened in female form but had to stop her penance as her visa gets expired. Her fb posts & book is certainly insightful read. Inspirational as seldom we see female saints in modern world.(atleast I don’t know).

Few days ago I read “a step away from paradise by Thomas Shor” . It’s story of Saint who unsuccessfully tries to.open mystical land of Utopia in sikkim. He is joined by 200 followers who give up everything to join his once a lifetime journey. This gives peek into world of mysticism & Buddhist legends. This mystery land “Beyul Demoshong ” is land hidden by Padmasambhava (Saint who took Buddhism to Tibet aka Guru Riponche). Apparently, Padmasambhava foreseeing future hides treasures (wisdom, prayers, location of land etc) in earth, human memory etc to be awakened at time when it’s right. Amazing.

“Tibetan book of dead” is quite popular. Though I read it as teenager, now I don’t have recollection of it.

6. Born Again: Reincarnation Cases Involving International Celebrities, India’s Political Legends and Film Stars is Book by Walter Semkiw

&
Brian Weiss “Many life Many Masters “

These books shook minds of Western audience as they speak of reincarnation. For Asians, reincarnation is accepted fact but for Westerners, it’s unpalatable. Born Again charts who were who in past which includes Rekha, Indira Gandhi, Nehru, Abdul kalam etc. This book states that Tipu sultan has reincarnated as Kalam while his father Haider Ali was born as Vikram sarabhai, great scientist who was kalam guru. Both were rocket pioneers reborn later to finish what they started 400 yrs ago. In Wings of Fire (autobio of Abdul kalam), Kalam says how he was struck at picture of tipu sultan firing rockets in American lab. Perhaps his ancient memory was woken up momentarily.

Many life Many Masters ” is about past life regression by hypnosis where author discovers many past lives of his patients. He concludes many of phobias are due to past life experiences.

7. “Journey back home” by Radhanath Maharaj is bio of another westerner who comes in search of truth in India. At age of 14, author expresses weird nature in America, like, he couldn’t sit on chair to eat, or being vegetarian etc. At 17, he becomes hippie, travels across world to India. He tries various sadhanas with masters before he surrenders to Prabhupadha of Isckon. Currently he heads Mumbai Iskcon Temple. When I first heard of this book, I couldn’t afford it and five years later mysteriously someone gifts me this saying, he is not much a reader & book is lying idle for last 5 years.

8. There are many more interesting books by/on jaggi vasudev, Neem karoli baba, Dalai lama, Nityananda , Osho, Ramana maharishi etc but somehow either I didn’t connect well or I haven’t read. I haven’t added Om Swami memoir here as we all know about it & are here only after reading it. More than memoir I absolutely loved “Million thoughts “, “All is not well”, “Kundalini,” The wellness sense”,. Mahatria “Unposted letter “& “Most&More” are very modern, irreligius & can be read by any person of any age and greatly benefit from it, otherwise listen to his 5 minute videos on YouTube.

Phew, I started this post , however got so engrossed that I totally lost track of time. If you have come till this point, share which spiritual book had max impact on spiritual soulful odyssey?

Mission Passion

 

     "Duty done out of desire becomes ultimate delight"

I used to work in Govt bank. I never liked working in bank and I also didn’t like myself. Bouts of grumpiness, irritation over  failures in past, frustrated over wrong turns I took in life, old regrets surfaced occasionally as I lived alone. I merely existed in bank. But that doesn’t mean, I was bad at work. I was quite efficient & but just did what was expected from me. Not more. Its not that I didn’t enjoy my life. I watched films, read books, tried meditation, ate good food. Yet something in me was missing. Life was insipid, tasteless and I merely existed. One fine day, something snapped. I just called it quits. Entire world dissuaded me not to, considering my age. Many of friends & colleagues felt iam crazy, total failure and some just avoided me all together.  I didn’t have any job, or plan. For an year I just travelled, prepared for govt jobs etc. one fine day , I got landed in particular line of work in Govt services. It was stroke of luck & total grace. All my life I day dreamed this line of work. I used to watch those action films, read voraciously on these topics, dreamed in nights. Voila!, Now it has become reality.

 

Amsterdam. Pc: Rashmi

     As I joined the job, I realized I was the oldest guy in my batch. But I realized, I absorbed the subject like sponge and craved for more. i realized that huge heavy black cloud of regret & frustration lifted magically. In job , I felt light & energetic. I could feel energy pulsuating through. Even insignificant act appeared wonderful, if not sacred. It might appear mundane to world. But every moment became cause of joy & celebration. Results never mattered somehow as I was thoroughly enjoying the process of getting the job done. My heart became full to brim, smiles more from soul, enthusiasm naturally radiated. Somehow others felt it too. Though I was always with same face with no modification by any make up, now world felt I was attractive. This was surprise to me as well.  I was learning from all other unrelated jobs & tried to inculcate in my line of work with wonderful results. I enjoyed world to extent, many qualities like jealousy , cribbing, anger, stress, need for appreciation, desire for name/fame/awards/rewards etc dropped naturally and desire to learn &, contribute more increased phenomenally. I almost stopped reading fiction books or watching films. When life& reality  itself has become more exciting then why watch virtual make believe entertainments . Life went zen like mode.

Vizag. PC: Mallik 

     I realized If you are passionate about your work, you can do the same amount of job in fraction of time. Its not how long you sit to work but how good you feel doing it. Working for 10 hours at office and carrying load mentally back home is definitely miserable way to live. When more than half of your life is spent at work place, it better be great place to be.

    When you take up job that is close to your heart, its natural that you try to learn as much as you can from all quarters. More we know about our trade, more clarity on work field. More clarity leads to better decision making based on clear vision than guess work . All this end in generating more confidence in yourself. There may or may not be chances of earning more money or name or fame. But its definite that there is more calm and contentment in life.

Auroville, pondicherry 

     While I say this, it doesn’t mean that things don’t go wrong. At any given point of time no human has all information to make perfect decision. Things can go wrong. Blunders and utter failures may rise. It could be painful but need not be suffering. Failing might lead to new lessons, detours and redirection of our path. More experience to arsenal of thinking. Its better fail in cause of our liking than fail in jobs based on borrowed dreams. Of course at times, things didn’t work and I had to face ire of seniors. But I never felt the hurt or embarrassment . I knew my efforts were undoubtedly 100% and took their scolding as course correction or lessons for future (at times I even jotted down) & felt I grew more wiser now. Now I began to love myself & respect myself knowing I will go to grave with no regrets.

     Doing the job you are fond of is akin to floating while smelling sweet scent as against doing job which you have no desire is like dragging halfdead soul-less body by hooks painfully punctured into your skin. Quite often due to lack of enthusiasm in job gives rise to sheer wastage of huge amounts of energy putting enormous strain on physical and mental system. They are the ones who are always cranky and screaming kinds. Somewhere deep inside they are hurt and bitter. Either with life or themselves. I was there , but grace pulled me out. Perhaps I was persistent day dreamer and universe was kind to help me out. For this gift, I bow thee.

 

 

 

The Legend of Ram

 

The Legend of Ram

Just jotting down random thoughts on Lord Ram. Not that iam big bhakt of Ram but few incidents I cam across. Actually only two. First was during some course where one IPS officer was having friendly chat with us (more a banter). But I think she takes great pleasure in making fun of others and ridiculing other religions etc. The conversation finally veered to Ramyana , where she gave caustic comments on Lord Ram. Her line of thought was Ram was very nasty god for abandoning His wife Sita just bcoz of some street gossip . Had she been there in those times, her reaction would be different while Sita choose to obey her husband .  

Kinda argument ensued but not many dared to go against her in full throttle knowing well she is vindictive. While she claims to be atheist and secular, its well known, her meat was halal compliant.

Well, though iam in that crowd, I chose not to argue for simple reason, I give a damn for anyones opinion. One person opinion will not change image of ageless Ramayana. Every religion or theory will have incidents which cannot be argued on updated wisdom of different millennium. Morever there is no end to discussion on Politics & Religion.  however i remebered that banter when i Recently  read an anecdote about legendary Field Marshal Cariappa. In 1965 war, his son was airforce pilot and became PoW. Knowing presence of son of FM Cariappa , Paki Gen Ayub khan called him and assured proper treatment would be given to his son and if he wishes, he will set free. However Cariappa rejected his offer and further stated that “all PoW are his children, Release all or none. No special treatment needed to be given exclusively to his son”

From this one anecdote one can gauge Rams dilemma as well. He might be husband of sita, but he is also King of his subjects. As king he had to take the action as per aspirations of his subjects just like Cariappa had to forgo his identity as father to his son and become General of army of a nation which bestows him greater responsibility than confining to narrow identities of father and son.

In one of Om swami speeches I heard story where Khumbakaran in conversations with his brother Ravan asks him “Brother , you have all magical powers. If you wanted to kidnap or bring Sita as your wife, why not change your appearance to Ram himself?” Ravan replied “ ofcourse that thought did come to me, but whenever I change my guise to Ram, my entire mind goes pure and was not able to think anything bad about any woman”, Well that’s the power name of lord carries..!

 

2020: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

 

The year that was:

        Though era of corona has ushered all negative fall out, for me not all was negative. There was some good, bad and ugly. Here are few interesting takeaways. While there was global gloom & Depression doom all over, I hardly felt anything. Be it claustrophobia or depression due to lockdown and lack of social interactions. Well, that’s my daily lifestyle for decades. On contrary, Lockdown gave opportunity to sleep peacefully, read in tons,

 

THE GOOD!

        When corona struck , no news that came was good news. Economies tumbled, jobs lost, lives snuffed away, migrants crisis…all while working alone in office with most of staff doing WFH. (since I live in same building as office, I was attending it everyday). Somewhere in this time of boredom & monotony & era of corona, 1^st half of year spent in devouring books voraciously while second half entered the cupid.

Obsessive Bibilophile

        While entire world shifted to online platform and Netflix/Amazon Prime became way to kill time for most, I took to AmazonKindle. I roughly must have read more than 100 books this year (Amazon Kindle says I read 164 books. Though I doubt It or , it must have taken account of all comics and other small books of no relevance. However I definitely read 35+ big books. More on those books in other blog. Like Osho says " For me , Books are love affair". I concur. Btw on flip side, spending so much time gazing at screen also increased my eye sight.

Covid & Cupid

Many have different collections & hobbies like travelling new places or collecting things. I dont travel places. i explore people. esp interesting and unique. i always fall in love with people with passion living or striving for their dreams. i love to listen to their stories of adventure and valour. Struggle & victory etc. I always respect interesting interactions, meeting interesting people. In such pursuit, i happen to meet this person.       

 We hit off from very first moment of interaction. I was dazzled by her sheer energy & exuberance. The calls went late in night. Call it initial euphoria or her infectious electrifying engaging conversation. The cackle of her smile, rolling of her eyes, mischievous glint in her eyes. Bible says “ No one has seen tomorrow” , even I wonder what’s tomorrow or fate of this relationship. I don’t know. Considering my eccentricities & her quirkiness, I really don’t know. But nevertheless my journey on this planet definitely was enriched by her presence & interaction. Moreover This is first time I ever meeting an accomplished - hard working-army officer-entrepreneur  and lovely lady. On flip side, hilariously she remembers date & time of every faux pas of mine and arguement. (so stereotypical yet cute)

 

THE BAD

        2020 has only one theme for entire globe : CORONA VIRUS pandemic. No one escaped its wrath. Rich & poor nations, democracies & dictatorial, East & West, believers & atheists, fanatics & liberals, healthy & unhealthy…no one escaped virus onslaught. Work from Home, Lockdown, Sanitizer, Quarantine has become part of daily language while social distancing, masks , hand santisers became part of our bodies for long time to come.

Corona & Conspiracies :

Is Covid virus man made or accidental leap from animal? Did china unleash virus to dominate world? So many conspiracies feeding internet how china is now buying all American companies after they went bust on stockmarket, how Beijing witnessed less virus though its near Wuhan which is birth place of virus. Did china unleash to take over hong Kong as pro-democratic protest are on rise? Or is it do with latest 5g tech? well, so many stories and I am total conspiracy buff.

THE UGLY:

 New place: Sudden relocation brought in intense bitterness as this is my 4th in last 4 years. Despite all auto positive self suggestion, bitterness just didnt want to leave. Disappointment at fate, disagreement (should i say raging anger & loss of trust) with leadership, anger at my own self followed by intense loneliness & psychological divide & distance with my family within me following the relocation ..all bundle of tumultuous emotions giving birth to new life doctrine which i would be henceforth adapting. All positive words of encouragement by colleagues, self image boosting words from near & dear, tons of self talk from self-help books failed to smoothen the balm over my bruised psyche. However i do intend to make new place best & productive to myself. Inshallah..!!

I wonder what 2021 usher in?. To mock Gods, tell your plans. Man proposes, God disposes.....Yet man achieves. i just want to be better person to myself.