Call me fatalistic or nihilistic or Buddhist but I no longer try to control the situation or people. I began to believe that Chaos & Calmness are what human life forever will be. No matter how wealthy, resourceful & spiritual u r, uncertainty, confusions & chaos will be there.
I choose no longer to judge others in general and primarily myself in particular. If I'm born fool, so be it. Even ants r somehow surviving on this planet, even I will manage somehow.
There is no significance of any event nor I consider any person is special or The One. Life will always be chaotic with gaps filled with waiting for elusive moments of happiness. Nothing can be predictable or goes per plan. Planning works to certain extent but beyond a point, it's all uncertainty & live/act moment by moment.
There is nothing like God's plan for events occured (as religion consoles gullible )or Positive thinking or Affirmations that would change one's life (Except authors bank accounts) . All these are hooks that we hang ourself to explain inexplicable events & pegs for hoping better tomorrow.
Earth is formed from Big bang, hence so would our lives be..always bang bang..now its for me to accept Bang Bang as normal or keep perpetually fighting against it in frustration. I rather ride the waves of uncertainty & take whatever life throws at me than question why it happened or how it should have happened. Like someone said, Life under no circumstances need to follow ur desires or diktats.
U can b most kind person or honest, still bad things might come to u. This is how life was always & eventually will be. Criminal would live in mansion while honest person suffering from hunger. Person who follows healthy diet die young of chronic disease while binge eater live till old age & die peacefully.
"Life is always unfair. Get used to it" - Bill Gates
Saying that, following some rules, discipline, etc may give some satisfaction & "probable" results & some greater hope of leverage over life. But otherwise life has no meaning..I no longer control life..take whatever comes and try to make best of what possible for me and leave the rest to fate and give a damn which ever direction it goes.
Yes, saying that, there are moments of bliss , wonder & awe of life. How gigantic it is. So endless, vast that one life of human or planet or galaxies stand millionth of dust in schemes of Creation. When I see my own insignificance in this gigantic Creation, all my issues vaporize. When I realise this, my senses fall silent....I surrender ...!!!
