As the title says Its just not about
the run, though entire blog would be standing on thoughts I thought while
having a run. To cut long story short, I decided to run for 10km and blog is
about Its totality of experience which happened during entire course of run.
Seed of Desire:
Why 10k? Why not 5Km or 21 Km or
full marathon? Why not ultraman, iron man triathlon marathon. Well, the backstory goes
like this. Once I found myself not even able to run 100m with my boss-man and
he finished clean 10 kms. Then I was like, Ok, boss, I would run 5km in coming
days (I always aim half the best i see). Later on his instigation and my desire for bragging rights I signed up
for 10km.
Dedication:: To my Boss-man primarily and tons of random events, thoughts, moments and pple from all walks of my life (past&future) is this my blog dedicated.
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| Me&Bossman |
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| Boss, look,look, even i couldnt believe its 24 min |
Why aim ur bossman? Well, he is
nearest human around me who went running on daily basis. (while rest of
apartment residents happily snoozed) Naturally, champions like Usain
bolt or Eliud kipchoge (greatest marathoner) are too far away to capture my imagination. When I started out, even
100m was herculean challenge. 1km would tighten chest& lungs swollen. 5km
was dream come true. But it wasn't a goal. Just as I kept running often I
touched 5km. I used to feel like king. but running 5km was never intentional
nor dedicated . it just happened. No big deal!
Training :
But 10k is total dedicated goal. With full
of intention and dead line. Once the target is strongly embedded and
decided I found my entire life mysteriously shaped around that target. All
happening as if target now got life of it's own and editing my daily life so
that finally target gets fructified. My alarm blared at 0430 am each n every day.And each day i leap out of my bed without fail.(proud of myself conquering daily battle of alarmclock)
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| Come Rain-Shine or Cyclone, i was there on track |
Suddenly new world opened. Sleep timing, watch
model, wind direction, Clothes, shoes, diet, timings, Training videos, shoulder angle, music track list, weather, track gradient, everything
was seen from 10k point. Running 5k is no longer challenge. But adding another
5k in 20 days is quantum leap. Track pants& regular tees tend to become heavier with droves of
sweat. Hence I flew to Bangalore Decathalon to get some light weight runner
tees&shorts. I videographed entire 10km track. Became conscious of my
running technique. Are my shoulders drooping, how are my feet landing, are my
keys &cellphones extra load? How do I reduce drag ?; become more
aerodynamic?
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| down there was running track |
Well, not that any of above stuff
made difference (maybe less than 1%) except cold discipline of hitting track
every day. But on hindsight i felt it gave me a psychological edge of making me feel I was dead serious and sincere. I remember reading
Abinav Bhindra autobio (awesome book I should say) where he was soooo serious that he even designed
underwear for his shooting sport. No wonder he won Indias first gold in
Olympics.
Neural Conditioning through Books
Iam chronic bibliophile. Its almost
OCD. I read only two genres and Motivation/Self help are not one of them. To
keep myself motivated , I did all I can. Bought books on discipline, habits and
even amerikan commando training books. Not that I would become commando, just
that these books act as nodes to rise above my laziness . Just to keep brain
sharp and improve its fortitude. Anyways I dont think they can help you unless
you already are motivated and looking for external solutions. However I get
these three fantastic books.
Discipline, Atomic Habits, Living
with Seal.1st book taught me importance of Discipline, 2nd
book spoke on tiny improvements which would keep tempo moving. Finally 3rd
book cements the habits. Last one costed me bomb. But results were worthy.I don’t
say its great book but somewhere inside you drives the work ethic of No-Excuses
& Never give up or Take path of least resistance.
Well, by end of 3 books, I finished
10 km. clean and neat! Reading this "Living with Seal" book made me realize all thru life
we give excuses and end up being specialists in excuses to extent that we
believe that our excuses are genuine.
In this book which primarily focuses
on self discipline, physical fitness and going beyond giving
excuses. Author and Seal commando take up 31 day challenge and execute them
irrespective of what. They exercise in mid noon, mid night, early morning ,
between office meetings, 5 minute coffee breaks, while shopping in blizzard
conditions etc etc.
Now when we look into our own lives,
we always end up with excuses. No gym shoes, sports clothing, bad weather
(author runs during 16 inch snowing), tight schedule, kids, school, office targets, bad
mood etc etc. Rather than getting comfy with extra flab & blame fate,.In book 10X I read this line "Commit first, figure out later"
Finally On the Track:
After all the preparation I hit the
track with all enthusiasm and fervor. I was shocked with multiple hurdles that
hit on face. First not being able to wake up in mornings. Later not even able
to jog 2 km. Though I jog daily 5km, now with 10km in my head, even 2km became
a challenge. Legs wobbled and lactic acid made them jelly. Later I realized
that with mind filled with totally with 10 km, iam getting overwhelmed. Taking
cue from "Atomic habits " which speaks on tiny victories, I started aiming only
few metres. At same time i had to stop comparing with other runners who were better than me on track. (later i discovered they were just running lot less distance than me).
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| Making urself proud is best feeling in the world |
I once heard how soldiers dont take rifle weight into consideration
as they consider it as extension of their body. Taking this idea, I stopped
considering my 1st 5km into account during practice. Everything began after
5km. 5km+0.50km, 5km+1km and so on. Daily trying to add few meters to 5km. I
was very very alert to even minute changes,be it physical or mental. But breaking my 5km plateau was very big
challenge. Mind rebelled like uncontrollable steed and oscillated between 5km
and max 5.5 km. Then as I endured, voila suddenly one day I touched 6km (This is my real victory i feel). From
there it was piece of cake. Daily adding ½ km to mileage. And surprisingly from
7th km, I was adding 1km to daily mileage. I began to improve in
bounds. No longer any target appeared Mount everest. At this rate I can easily finish
half marathon and maybe even marathon. But I restrict myself to what I
previously visualized. Just 10km. No goal upgrades please.
I took 2 weeks vacation just to
finish my running target. Many of friends&colleagues felt its silly to use
precious office-leaves to practice running. But people take holidays for pleasure.Dont they? Iam
taking for self improvement, working on habits, removing toxic thoughts,
building steel mindset, improve physical& mental prowess etc. finally On August 09,2019 all my 3 books were completed. The
day was day Nagasaki was nuked by USA and on same day I nuked my own target. 10
Km completed within 15 days of beginning of my training and 21 days before big race.
Set Goals Like an Elite Warrior “Keep away from people who
belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make
you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain
Mind Vs Me
Its more mental warfare than physical
endurance I had to undergo. Initially
like I said even touching 5km became a challenge.
I just couldn’t break 5km plateau. Maybe few
metres but not more. Body just didn’t
move head. Million times I reconsidered giving up or changing goal post. Run
5km instead of 10km. I discovered how mind silently from behind the curtains
whispers. Many times we succumb to it as mind is so persuasive and convincing.
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| best sports store |
The real challenge is Hushing up the
little voice in my head that tells me to quit. Relentlessly , very softly but
highly persuasive. It keeps telling me, “it's ok, snuggle up, weather is bad,
you can do in evening, no 1 is watching”.
Once early morning battle with alarm is won,
again voice rises during run and whispers: "It ok, cut down to 3 km, ur legs r tired. You are
tired. Who cares. Atleast walk if not run.Feet gone tight, pelvic muscles ache", Voice in head coupled with boredom
was biggest challenge. I dont have partner to run along who could motivate or
some beautiful girl at finish point to put some boosters in my shoes. Body was never tired
of running but it is boredom that weighed a ton. I needed something to cancel
those voices and feeling if I need to push myself. However as I kept enduring
(Tx to book Living with Seal stories that played in mind). More I endured I
found the voice getting feebler and finally fell silent. That moment was really
wonderful. Mind fell totally silent.
Veni Vidi Vici-I came, I saw, I conquered!
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| finally first hit at 10km |
For me this moment to cherish. Every
sweat bead, torrents of sweat that drenched my tees are symbolic of my work
I put in. It was conscious goal. Aimed & planned. Finally achieved.
Breaking old habits. Adopting new practices. These lessons would now be
replicated in another parts of my life. Methods experimented in lab of marathon
grounds. I don’t say running mere 10km is a big deal. I myself felt nothing
after finishing 10km. but something in me changed. Unconsciously I absorbed the
lessons I learnt throughout the process before final product came to fruition.
My tussle with my own rebellious mind (&victory over it) and fantastic
books I absorbed are highlights. Whatever we do in life apparently to please
someone where in getting a compliment /salary/appreciation is byproduct. But
this I wanted to myself so that I can respect myself. I feel alive bubbling
with confidence and brimming with pride and self respect. I began to respect
myself more and love myself more.
D-Day...
Finally D-Day arrived. Though i finished 10k long time back and rehearsed , still doubts prevailed. I hoped sea tides rise, cyclone lashes coast, heavy wind crashes the beach,so that i can blame Natures fury in case i failed. Before leaving my flat, i rechecked my shoes, double tied my laces, picked lightest clothes,added new playlist to my phone.
Reaching the venue i discovered now i could differentiate serious runners, competitive runners, timepass runners, selfie runners etc. Serious competitive runners wore shortest shorts and sleeveless tops and carried no headsets or phones. They were lean, athletic with muscular legs.
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| You win the prize during practice but collect in competition |
Once the run began , i found Gods were on my side.They granted my foolish prayes. It rained heavily, thunders and lightening rented the skies, cold wind blasted the streets and my bad luck began. Cold weather always brings in breathing issues within me.But i felt if i quit now, my self esteem and confidence would take severe beating and that taste of loser is horrible. i spat the rising phlegm and just trudged on. Heavy rain cleared half the non serious crowd leaving roads vacant. I ran most of the track without lifting my head inorder to avoid distraction.
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| Beginning of Race-Drenched in Middle-Finally End of Race |
Before i really realized, i was almost back to finish line. but there was no finish banner. Winds lashed it out i learn it later. There were many runners standing at many places which further added my confusion. Just to keep doubts at bay, i ran half more kilometer roughly only to find finish line was long passed. I clocked 70 minutes (thats 20 minutes better than in practice. Well, roughly it took 81 runs, 425 kms in total to get here...hehe
Its over?..yes its over. but i hardly felt thrill as i felt/dreamed/desired. There was no tiredness or droves of sweat so that i can gloat & brag from rooftops..no hunger pangs, no thirst,no leg ache or even stiff feet..no exhaustion. Legs were very fresh. its like, i can go for few more kilometers. i felt nothing...Journey during pratice was inspiring and exciting but final destination was totally insipid..perhaps "Journey "IS" Destination"!!. but yeah iam content..like always.
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| Now, back to my normal life. Day dreaming |
Well i began the blogpost dedicating it to Bossman. lemme end it in same way. Hey Boss, Happy Anniversary. Aug 31,2019...
