I surrender

 Call me fatalistic or nihilistic or Buddhist but I no longer try to control the situation or people. I began to believe that Chaos & Calmness are what human life forever will be. No matter how wealthy, resourceful & spiritual u r, uncertainty, confusions & chaos will be there.

I choose no longer to judge others in general and primarily myself in particular. If I'm born fool, so be it. Even ants r somehow surviving on this planet, even I will manage somehow.

There is no significance of any event nor I consider any person is special or The One. Life will always be chaotic with gaps filled with waiting for elusive moments of happiness. Nothing can be predictable or goes per plan. Planning works to certain extent but beyond a point, it's all uncertainty & live/act moment by moment.



There is nothing like God's plan for events occured (as religion consoles gullible )or Positive thinking or Affirmations that would change one's life (Except authors bank accounts) . All these are hooks that we hang ourself to explain inexplicable events & pegs for hoping better tomorrow.


Earth is formed from Big bang, hence so would our lives be..always bang bang..now its for me to accept Bang Bang as normal or keep perpetually fighting against it in frustration. I rather ride the waves of uncertainty & take whatever life throws at me than question why it happened or how it should have happened. Like someone said, Life under no circumstances need to follow ur desires or diktats.

U can b most kind person or honest, still bad things might come to u. This is how life was always & eventually will be. Criminal would live in mansion while honest person suffering from hunger. Person who follows healthy diet die young of chronic disease while binge eater live till old age & die peacefully.

"Life is always unfair. Get used to it" - Bill Gates

Saying that, following some rules, discipline, etc may give some satisfaction & "probable" results & some greater hope of leverage over life. But otherwise life has no meaning..I no longer control life..take whatever comes and try to make best of what possible for me and leave the rest to fate and give a damn which ever direction it goes.

Yes, saying that, there are moments of bliss , wonder & awe of life. How gigantic it is. So endless, vast that one life of human or planet or galaxies stand millionth of dust in schemes of Creation. When I see my own insignificance in this gigantic Creation, all my issues vaporize. When I realise this, my senses fall silent....I surrender ...!!!

Devbhoomi- The land of Gods

I was lazily cruising when I get call from unknown number. I seldom respond to unknown numbers but somehow I picked the call. The caller speaking in heavy accented hindi questioned “When are you coming to Uttaranchal?” He identified himself as someone from Uttaranchal Tourism Dept and further stated that my name is included in list which is seeking special darshan at Kedarnath . Totally flummoxed I excused by mentioning that I would get back to him.  

pensive mood in airport: cancelled& delayed planes 

Sometime ago my brother mentioned that they might travel to Kedarnath in October for which I wanted to be part of. However later my brother said, that trip has been advanced by a month and would be held that very weekend which for me was impossible to accommodate as I just returned from 2 week home leave. Then I realised , my name was included in registration trip. However my name was last of 5 members . By quirk of fate, all above 4 members refused to pick calls on that day and the call came to me in end.  However I rejected to be part of the trip at such short notice.

At JollyGrant airport, Dehradun

I call my brother just to let him know about the phone call from Uttaranchal Tourism as and called brother about the call where he speaks on his soon to be held trip to Uttaranchal along with his 4 friends visiting Kedarnath and Badrinath with important tourist spots in between. The visual imagery of snowclad mountains of Kedarnath captured my imagination now which has already gone wild. I desperately wanted to visit these places for over decades. I still have Uttaranchal tour guide book I purchased many years ago hoping to travel to these places such as Rishikesh, Haridwar, kedarnath etc which are spoken so often in tales and folklore.

But the main problem arises from fact, I just took 2 weeks leave from work and asking for another 10 days would incur Bosses wrath, probable rejection and over all guilt for myself as well. However now I felt, this is once in lifetime trip and now or never moment coz my brother is well experienced traveller and good at managing logistics.  Without further ado, I booked my flight that night itself to Dehradun. Somehow I took the phone call as sign from cosmos aswell. Next morning, I dashed leave letter clearly mentioning my intent of visiting religious places like Kedarnath (hoping Bosses are religious and wont reject my application).

By 11 am next day, I received my permission for trip from HQ (first challenge scaled successfully). Taking it as further indication from Cosmos, I pack haphazardly and rush to airport. Just before I reach airport, I get message that flight has been cancelled. Immediately outside airport I book another flight to Delhi at exorbitant price, leaving the part Delhi to Dehradun travel and also chopper ride to kedarnath  to fate.

As I was lazing in airport for midnight flight, another message blinks on phone. The current flight has been delayed.  With nothing to do , I drink much hyped Dalgona coffee and cookie at airport. I feel road side 10/- chai and 5/- biscuit would tase much better than inspid airport fare. Sitting idly, I tried another flight/train/bus from delhi to Dehradun. Not in mood to rush with luggage , I just book taxi from Delhi to Dehradun which costed same as flight from Delhi to Dehradun. For first time I realized how blessed I was, that I had enough cashflow to book flights & taxis thus making life comfortable. By 0800 am I was at Jollygrant airport in Dehradun, waiting to recive my brothers and his friends who were coming from bangalore.

From Dehradun, we board Innova which was booked in advance with 1^st stop in Haridwar , to Sirsee following day from where we had to take Chopper ride to kedarnath temple. 

Holy Ganges at Haridwar

Ganga aarthi

Street Art@ Haridwar 

Daksheswar temple: where daksha was killed

Frankly I had different image of Haridwar and Rishikesh. I imagined it with lots of saints and spiritual aura. Though there were many Ashrams of renowned and lesser knowns Saints, it has become highly commercialized and sweltering head added to misery. 

Cottage At sirsee

Chopper ticket booked last minute 

Falls by roadside

After witnessing Ganga Arti , following day we zoomed towards higher altitude. We reached Sirsee , from were chopper takes us to kedarnath temple. Last 20 kms road  to Kedarnath is unmotorable. Either we have to trek or go on mule or hire Doli ( porter would carry us all 20 km).

Finally reached kedarnath 

1st glimpse of temple 

In night 

As I was last minute entrant, my chopper ride was not booked. Mentally I was prepared to trek 20 kms. If anyone is intending to trek, better they practice in advance as its bound to be ardous considering high altitude & less oxygen. However my brother pulled jugad and were able to book 1 extra ticket.

Some saint 

 Next day luckily weather was supportive and chopper flew on time carrying all of us. (Again luck/Grace supported me in chopper ticket we can say)

The  mountains, green or snow clad dotted by multiple water flows, were too exotic and intoxicating. Enormous they were that they reduced humans to insignificance. Somewhere in those mountains are saints who gave up their lives insearch of enlightenment. These saints stay in their caves even when snow occupies entire terrain for 6 months when entire temple and locals vacate to lower areas. All the streams from upper Himalayas gushing downstream are real joy to witness. The roaring rush barging through landscape so powerfully.

2013 flash floods in Uttarakhand saw around 6000 dead. Floods came with such force that they washed everything in its path. However temple was left intact as huge boulder came and stopped behind temple which saw the fury of flood diverted sideways leaving temple unharmed. If we look at pictures of that boulder (now called as Bhima shila), its amazing or miraculous that such huge boulder stopped strategically thus protecting temple.

Both at Kedarnath and Badrinath temples, we found ourselves lucky with no much rush of pilgrims . We had ample time to spend in Sanctum sanatorium to our hearts content. Hardly there was any crowd. I really wondered what to pray. I felt iam blessed with so much abundance that all I was filled with immense gratitude.

Moreover I wondered why a person would visit a temple? Seek or give up or grasp or thank? Well, I don’t know. Moreover this entire trip made me drop some of spiritual fantasies I harboured for long.

Adi Shankara- The Jagatguru

Adi shankara statue is often seen across the trip. Such a superman that he traversed across India multiple times, re-established Hindu dharma which was on decadence back then. What an amazing person. He is said to ultimately take samadhi behind Kedarnath temple where now we have his huge statue on Sri chakra yantra.

Trigunarayan temple

Apart from Kedarnath and Badrinath temple, we also visited Ukhimath (where deities of kedarnath & Badrinath are placed during winter), Tunganath and TriguNarayan (Where Shiva wedded Parvati with Vishnu as witness) temples and also pancha prayags (where two rivers join, viz rudraprayag , devprayag etc). Tunganath is one of pancha-kedars , one of highest Shiva temples at 12000ft, below Chandrashila peak where Ravana is said to have worshipped Shiva.

Tunganath temple. One of panch kedars

From Chopta, some trekked to Tunganath temple while I went by mule. Those 5-6 kms on mule was so frightening and painful to back which left me wondering how do people race on horses. These mules often walk on edge of hill sending fears. After paying our obeisance at Tunganath temple, I went on trek to Chandrashila peak which is said to be only 1 km high.

finally at summit of chandrashila 

Though its said to be 1 km, during high steep gradient, thick fog, less oxygen, it was sheer pain . I had to take break every 3-4 minutes to catch air. No matter how much I climb, I don’t find reaching summit. Moreover I was all alone. This also made me nervous as if I slip or sprain , there is no one to know my location. I really wondered if its really 1 km as it appeared more than 5km. Several times I wanted to give up and walk back, however human ego kept pushing and mountains kept teasing me to walk up. Morever regret would be more painful emotion than pain of climbing. That made me decide to scale it no matter if it takes even full day.  Its said, we can see all peaks of Himalayas from top. But due to fog and clouds, nothing was visible. However reaching the summit was satisfaction inexpicable. But while scaling down, hill appeared quite small and distance less than 1 km.

  

 

From Badrinath, 3-4 kms away is last village Mana Village. The entire village seems more a prop for tourism than actually anyone dwelling . Entire village inhabitants (rougly 500 families) would vacate to lower areas as it gets buried under snow. Only Govt agencies & ITBP hold their posts as lie beyond this village is Dragon menace China. This village also has mythological angle. This is place from where Pandavas had ascended heavens and cave where Mahabaratha was written by Lord Ganesh while narrated by Vyas Maharashi. With so many holy places (Kedarnath, Badrinath,

Chardham, Haridwar, Rishikesh etc), no wonder Uttaranchal is called as Devbhoomi-The land of Gods.

 

feeding dogs with sentiment of Bhairava

 When I look back, the entire trip was based on luck or what others say, Called by Lord Himself. Since beginning , with flights cancelled, friends health shaky, altitude sickness &motion sickness, ATMs out of cash (only 1 ATM at kedarnath),  delayed, weather suboptimal, leave-permission under doubt, less crowd, easy darshan. When Grace is on your side, all challenges & wrinkles get ironed out. Like saying in Tiruvanamali goes “You cant visit Arunachala unless Arunachala Himself wishes you to visit”. Same holds true here I believe

Esoteric Side of Freedom Struggle

Other dimensions of 15 Aug

       I  can’t vouch how true all these are but I happen to read or listen here & there. In my favourite novel “Calcutta Chromosome “, theme is that Ronald Ross discovered malaria medicine by covert intervention of  members secret society.  They manipulate Ross into discovering medicine as the time for it has come. And from behind the curtains they run whole charade where Ross believes he discovers medicine. Similarly though indias freedom was hard fought by our leaders, some say, it was divine will & time has come for its freedom & all principal actors are pushed into game by unseen forces.

Mana village: last village of India in Uttaranchal 

1.#OtherDimension

They say, its natural that people believed in occult & spirituality in those days. Both Gandhi & Godse were aware of these things. Gandhi was kriya yogi who was initiated by Paramahamsa Yogananda (famed author of Autobiography of Yogi) is said to know his time is on earth is running out & demanded all correspondence to be finished a day earlier before he was shot by Godse.... who himself practiced occult & saw future in fingernail (this art in South is called Anjanam). Often this is used by police in cracking tough cases in rural areas of South India.

Source : Autobiography of yogi and Freedom at Midnight 

2.  #OtherDimension

Esoterically speaking, Aurobindo Ghosh was Revolutionary& believed in path of gun to kick the British out. Its said when he was in Jail, in his meditation, Krishna/Vivekananda appeared to him & instructed him to dedicate his life to self realization as Goď has chosen other leader & path for India. Subsequently Aurobindo goes to pondicherry to start world famous Auroville whose byproduct today is Kalki kochelin actress, child of one of those initial hippies who settled in Auroville

Source: stories of Auroville

At Army camp display

3.  #OtherDimension

The chosen one was Gandhi. Though Gandhi was ordinary bania barrister, it is said, one of siddha yogi joined as one of his disciples & influenced by planting ideas of ahimsa, non cooperation etc in minds of Gandhi. This siddha yogi was from Siddhashram @Gyanganj@Shambala etc where deathless Saint Babaji lives. He saw that Gandhi understood psyche of British & Nazis. Had he picked path of violence, it would have crushed brutally like in 1857.After work is done, that yogi quietly left as he came. How true?.no clue.but entertaining

Source: Siddeshwarananda barathi Swami of courtalam 

What do you think my friend. ?

Go..Goa..Going & Gone

 

Go Goa Gone..!!!

It wasn’t exactly a planned trip but when opportunity presented I grabbed it. It was road trip planned by my brothers in bangalore. Six guys,3 bikes & a innova christa began at 0400 in morning to cruise 600kms roughly. A day before all bikes were checked, serviced, bluetooth intercom device installed in helmets, extra luggage placed in innova.

 I didn’t know what to expect but just went with the flow. Never I did any road trip nor visited Western India. Bikers were visual treat. All bikes (Domineer’s) in green, padded jackets, knee caps, shining helmets & fluorescent gloves. Once the bikes hit the highway, the speeds were on average 150 kmph. 

Such speeds are just scary and unimaginable for me. All while they were cruising , innova was itself on full throttle. The person who was driving the innova took the drive to next level . it was almost like vehicle has become extension of his body and zipping at crazy speeds. Btw there was no Dil chahte hai song being played..

 

Well, what do you expect in Goa? Beaches, bikini & lots of beer in pubs. First thing was the planners hired entire luxurious villa with private pool for ourselves for next 3-4 days. It was opulence at its best.

 For once even I unstrung my purse & didn’t mind the expenses which touched 5 figures. Villa was very beautiful. Reading a book next to it , sipping hot tea with crisp toast was so heavenly. Unlike regular travellers , we didn’t go on tourist spree to visit all tourist spots or churches or beaches. 

We totally relaxed, ate our full, while few explored, few just dozed off their hearts content away from hustle bustle of concrete cities. The roads in goa were narrow , best suited for two wheeler than cars. No wonder local bike rental is such a big business. All the Portuguese era churches seem to have similar architecture which is of plain unlike gothic structures of British.

 

One thing about my fellow travellers were that they were totally into bikes/cars, and enjoyed good food. At one point there was malfunction of one bike which they were able to jugad locally till goa where they replaced parts. At one point , one bike headlight failed which was compensated by one bike going ahead showing the way with another behind lighting from behind. 

                  Vehicle repair

          Sunset @arombol beach

While I seldom a foodie of huge quantities , the pictures displayed below shows the huge appetite our guys had.  Most of days were spent in dozing till 10 am as it was very sunny outside, have lunch at 3 pm and dinner at 3 am. Yeah dinner at 3 am which is totally against my routine. Many wondered how come I went to goa considering iam never into these things. But once a while I myself try to destroy the status quo I build for myself to explore life beyond my comfort zone.

Meat platter

       Fat fish restuarent but not so fat me

Goa is certainly about dipping neck lines, shortened skirts, flow of alcohol (though I didnt drink), beaches, firangis (foreigners) and bikinis. Arombol beaches had all these in full scale. But all that really caught my attention was beautiful sunset. Radient and spread of orange glow across the water stream. From there we visited most happening pub for all night disco. Last time I entered into disco was in teens /college time. 

                        Bliss pool side

..

My room

I thanked God for all the beautiful things She’s allowed me to experience throughout my life.....woke up when I wanted to (not by alarm , but as usual early)..read some beautiful lines in book...had lone pool time splashing around like mermaid (aquaman 😌)..great breakfast (after few laps in pool, ur stomach starts growling anyways)...kept away from crazy information loads from world ...taking break

What's this obsession with Russian women

Now again feeling the wild, psychedelic trance music throbbing through your innards is quite phenomenal feel. Well, whats dampening was single water bottle was around 300/- inside. Now we can imagine the rest of costs. 

But for once, everything goes. All desi women I noticed were wearing red bangles which I conclude have come for honey moon post wedding. Whats ridiculous was you dress in short skirts & western wear but still holding to ethnic redbangles much to chagrin of every man around ogling.

As we were here, the war between Ukraine and Russia broke out. Im sure no goa would protest Russian invasion as there are so many Russians who made goa their seasonal home. (now if they were Russians or ukraines or just some white skinned people is subject to debate). There is so much obsession of Russians in goa with every restuarent/pub advertising Russians women in their service. Guess , russians have occupied Goa even before Ukraine.

 

Floating  Casinos

Final day night we visited Casino on huge cruise ship. This is totally new experience to me as I never gambled ever in life and my personal philosophy is dead against any luck based gamble.

 Its such huge vessel with every floor having so many games going on simultaneously serving unlimited food & drinks. We cant miss thick cloud of greed in air. Everyone trying their luck. While some winning and while many losing totally. 

But once u taste little luck, its very difficult to not to get hang of gambling. While I didn’t understand most of gaming stalls, I tried Russian roulette with token coins given at entry. I have won twice the amount but refrained to try more . I just didn’t want to get addicted and end up spending more. self control just isn’t my control. 

Mighty magician & Me

The best grand finale was meeting a magician in musical theatre.  He was just so rocking, dazzled us with his performance of  bending spoons & straightening it, thus flabbergasting all of us.

 By time I returned home, I realised , four days were totally missing from worldly calender. I was totally soaked into goan life that I lost total touch with outer world. Well, though expensive, but worth the dime. Now time to get back to reality.